Shownotes:
Bri is my "sister from another mister"! She also inspires innovation, fosters empathetic learning cultures, and puts purpose into practice with educators throughout the country. She wears many hats including a cowboy hat and she is known as a horse wrangler! This episode is a #MustListen!
About Our Guest:
An experienced leader in education, strategy, culture development, and implementation, Brianna Henneke Hodges helps develop and enact human-centered transformational strategies that personalize experience, elevate engagement and enhance outcomes. Bri is Learner-Centered Collaborative's Director of Strategic Partnerships. She was named K12 Administrator to Watch (2018) and Texas EdTech of the Year (2017). Brianna is also National Advisor & Spokesperson for Future Ready Instructional Leaders, Future Ready Faculty member, and co-host of the Lemonade Learning podcast and host of Learning Through Uncertainty, a Future Ready Schools Podcast.
Website: briannahodges.com
Twitter: @bhodgesEDU
Instagram: @bhodgesEDU
About Lainie:
Lainie Rowell is an educator, international consultant, podcaster, and TEDx speaker. She is the lead author of Evolving Learner and a contributing author of Because of a Teacher. Her latest book, Evolving with Gratitude, was just released. An experienced teacher and district leader, her expertise includes learner-driven design, community building, online/blended learning, and professional learning. Learn more at linktr.ee/lainierowell.
Twitter - @LainieRowell
Instagram - @LainieRowell
Evolving with Gratitude, the book, is now available! Purchase here!
You can also get bulk orders for your staff (10 copies or more) at a discounted price! Just fill out the form linked below and someone will get back to you ASAP! bit.ly/ewgbulkdiscount
Transcript:
Lainie Rowell
Welcome to the Evolving with Gratitude Podcast. I'm your host, Lainie Rowell and I'm thankful you're here. Let's talk about ways to bring gratitude into our learning communities to nurture relationships, improve well being, and activate learning.
Lainie Rowell: Friends, I just had to hit the record button because my sweet friend, Bri and I have been talking for like a long, long time and we realized we should actually record this episode or we will have nothing, although a lovely time together. Is that fair to say, Bri?
Brianna Hodges: Absolutely. I I guess it's more of the like, we're supposed to share and amplify, not just keep this between the two of us.
Right. So, so now we gotta invite the crew, like all, all of these lovely listeners, to, to our, to our party. So,
Lainie Rowell: I know, but it's hard cuz it's like you're my sister from another mister. And the listeners of this show, I think already know that we have a podcast, Lemonade Learning. On hiatus,
Brianna Hodges: on hiatus.
We're, gathering a lot of lemons and ingredients right now. So to be, to be returned to, yes,
Lainie Rowell: Well, I do miss recording with you on that often because, I just wanna talk to you, which is why it took us so long to hit the record button here. And I'm not sure that everyone wants to hear the things that I was sharing about my life.
It's not that interesting. But, but I am excited to share about your life because you are very interesting. So I'm gonna do a quick intro. It's, will not be enough and I want you to add to whatever you want to, but , here it comes, professional. I'm gonna get real serious. Right now, we have Bri Hodges who is. An education consultant, strategic storyteller, keynote speaker, insatiable learner, Future Ready Coach, and the latest on the resume, Learner Centered Collaborative, Director of Strategic Partnerships. Did I get those all right?
Brianna Hodges: Think so. Wow. I, I mean, and, or, or, and probably add in, you know, a few extras if you want.
Lainie Rowell: You add them in. You add them in. Cuz you have too many for me to
get them all.
Brianna Hodges: No, absolutely. You, you gave me credit for far too much, so, no.
The only thing that I, that I would, would add in is, is a mom. So, I mean, other than that you kind of, you kind of hit all of the. And, and Texan, right? Like I, I, I don't know that there's really any way to describe me without including that somewhere in there. So super pumped.
Lainie Rowell: I'm so excited. But I do feel like we should add where you live and what you do.
I don't know how you have time for it, but you are like, you've got like livestock. There's like, you're busy.
Brianna Hodges: I do. So I live on, I, I live on a, a little, we, I always have this conversation with people in Texas or outside of Texas. If you're outside of Texas, you probably are gonna call it a ranch. I don't call it a ranch because in Texas, like a ranch is like thousands of acres to me.
But I don't have that much. I definitely don't have thousands of acres. , but it's , my little family property that my dad started and he passed away 10 years ago, when he got sick, he asked if I would come home and take care of the place.
And so returned to my roots, came back here to, Stephenville, Texas, which is a tiny little town in North Central Texas. And my family and I do raise quarter horses. My son and I raise and show reigned cow horses and ranch horses, stock horses. And so we have a lot of fun and we're, we're actually ramping up.
I was, I was sharing this with somebody earlier that this is kind of a busy time for us show wise because. This is, this is the part where we're, working on qualifying for the world shows, which are in the summer. And so that, that deadline is looming, in February for, for lots of our organizations.
And so my son and I are about to, like, we're, we're gonna. Get through the, the Christmas holidays and then that next week, like we've got shows the 28th through the 31st and then pretty much every weekend or every other weekend in January into into February. So it's, yeah, it's a lot of fun.
There have been plenty of times that I have jumped from the airport into my big old mama truck and pulling, pulling horses across the country to, to get to all of our places. But yes,
Lainie Rowell: and I'm just gonna add for those who are like, how is it. That we didn't get Bri on this show until episode something.
I don't even know what episode it's gonna be. And we're recording this in December because I had to try and catch you when you weren't constantly flying off to somewhere. So we're recording in December of 2022...
Brianna Hodges: 100% on Bri and Bri's schedule. Not because Lainie didn't ask, like only because Bri drops the ball on giving...
Lainie Rowell: No, no, no, no.
That's not what I'm saying. That's not what I'm saying. But I do want, for the record, say you were invited on the show before there was a show.
Brianna Hodges: Hundred percent.
Lainie Rowell: Okay. I just wanna, I love you and you're busy and I get that it is stars aligning issue, not because I don't love you, and I couldn't wait to get my sis on the show.
Brianna Hodges: Hundred percent. And as it often is with our families, for everybody who is out there listening, it's the ones that we're closest to that we sometimes put off, right? Because it's like, oh my gosh, I know she's gonna still love me if I can't get there.
Lainie Rowell: Oh, yes, yes.
Brianna Hodges: And so I am thrilled that it finally worked out for our, our schedules because I have definitely long time listener.
Huge advocate and supporter of Lainie Rowell and all that you do. And I am super, super grateful to get to be a part of this.
Lainie Rowell: Oh, well, you know how much I love you. And the feelings are mutual. And of course not just the podcast, but you're in the book too. Had to have you in there for that. And we just give each other all the grace and patience in the world, don't we? Cuz we love each other. .
Brianna Hodges: Absolutely. Absolutely. Grateful. Grateful.
Lainie Rowell: Absolutely.
Alright, well let's get onto what does gratitude mean to you?
Brianna Hodges: Well, I actually did share this in my little portion of, Evolving with Gratitude and to me gratitude is story. I think that one of the greatest components of being grateful and thankful is to share why you're grateful and thankful. And I think that like when somebody has either given you something, whether that is a tangible gift, whether it is an anecdote, whether it's an experience whether it's an emotion when you, you pay it forward, when you share about it and when you tell others about that experience, what it meant to you, what you've learned from it, all those different pieces.
And so I really just, I, I think that story is, what is to me, the truest form of gratitude, being able to really put into words what that experience means and, and to think so highly of it that you put it out there in, into perpetuity by, by talking about it and sharing it and, and showcasing that impact.
Lainie Rowell: Oh, I love how you are so passionate about story. And I will say, obviously you've been on the Evolving with Gratitude journey with me the whole way. Cause I wouldn't let you out of it even if you wanted to. And , one of the first times I really heard about a gratitude jar was from you.
I don't know if you know that, but you don't shared that with me.
Brianna Hodges: Yeah. Yeah. How funny. Because that gratitude jar actually came from one of my dear friends, Tara Desiderio, and she sent me a gratitude jar and was like, when you, you know, don't feel like, yeah, like make this a part of your day and. , you know, she challenged me to, to sit down and to, to find those bright spots and to you know, that it's, it's really easy for us to get swept up by overwhelm and to, to see the really big rocks that are all around us that we feel like we need to push.
And that, that it's so hard and they're so heavy. That sometimes we forget to pause and to, to take into inventory, into, into consideration all of the amazing things that are happening around us. And she actually had sent that to me. It was so it's, it was, it was beautiful. It was out of nowhere.
She is my little Amazon Amazon gift queen that she just like pops up in the middle of you know, when I least expect it. And that is so, that is so crazy cuz I remember, I do remember like showing it to you and be like, look at this. It's so cool. Yeah. Well I didn't know that that was your first, your first time ta seeing something like that or, or kind of getting exposed to it, so that's really crazy.
Lainie Rowell: Well, I should clarify. I knew that gratitude jars existed, but it hadn't occurred to me to gift one to someone else. And that was where I was, Tara, you brilliant, brilliant woman the joy that you shared with me about getting that gift was when I was like, oh my gosh, this is like a gift I'm gonna give people.
Brianna Hodges: You have, now, now you've like, you gave it to your family even, right?
Lainie Rowell: I've given it to everyone. I did something a little different with my husband last year for the holidays is instead of giving him an empty jar, my kids and I spent a few weeks writing notes and filling it for him, and then we gave it to him and we said, these are the things we're grateful for with you.
And so that was a little twist on it, but I was really happy to do .
Brianna Hodges: I love that. Cause I also think that it's really important to remember that, that like we shouldn't put so much pressure. , sometimes it, there's a lot of pressure to find the things, right? Yeah. Like, like especially when you're looking introspectively of is that, you know, I don't know what impact I have on other people. And so I, I love that like, twist of reminding people, these are all the different things in all the different ways that, that we are grateful for you. So that's a good job. Well done, well done.
Lainie Rowell: Thank you. I was pretty happy with that gift.
And I should say, I'm, I'm not trying to throw my husband under the bus here, but I am. Notoriously falling short in giving him gifts that he likes and that one he actually really loved. So we now have an agreement. I will stop buying him any sort of clothing cuz that is a miss a hundred percent of the time.
And focus more on these gifts, ,
Brianna Hodges: Meaningful, like deeply personal and and recognition. There you go.
Lainie Rowell: So, right. That's all. That's all it takes. Okay. I wanna give you an opportunity because you embody gratitude.
I wanna give you an opportunity to just open it up really wide. You can go however you want with this personal professional, both how you experience or express gratitude. Like you've already shared some ways, but what is this looking like in your life? Go in whatever direction you want .
Brianna Hodges: So I will say that and I again, I, shared a little bit about this.
Like I grew up in a, in a household where you wrote thank you notes. Like that was definitely, like you expressed your gratitude. That was an expectation. There was no like form letter that you typed up and then just signed your name, like you hand wrote thank you notes for everything.
If somebody thought enough to bake you a dozen cookies or to. You know, give you some sum of money or, or, you know, take you on an experience, any of that stuff. You hand wrote a letter of thanks. And my, my family, my father in particular was very explicit that you had to name what you received and then you had to share how that impacted you.
And I say that because that was just part of what we did growing up. Like it didn't. Seem a it didn't seem earth shattering to me. It wasn't like, oh my gosh, you know, now I'm gonna be a forever grateful person. Like, I really didn't ever, I don't think that it, it made me think of, of gratitude in, in any, any different light than, than anybody else did.
I, kind of look back as like an adult of when did I start to see gratitude like coming up in my life and all of those things. And I think it was probably when my son was almost a year old. We were moving and, and I was gonna be taking him from the daycare that he had started at when he was six weeks old.
And I absolutely adored his daycare provider. Like she was incredible and I really wanted to give her something that she would be able to hold onto and would serve as a memory for her and of us and, and of my son and, and all of that. And I just remember like really racking my brain.
And I wasn't in education at that point. I was a director of marketing and PR and I was you know, at the hospital. And this hospital was also where the daycare facility was and so I remember one day just like walking through one of the gift shops of the hospital and there was this pendant that was that was hearts and they had thumbprints that were in there.
And I, grabbed it and I immediately knew like, this is it, this is what I'm gonna give her. And I remember sitting down and writing a thank you note to her because as somebody who took care of my, of my, my baby from like, From, from six weeks old to a year, and think of all of those changes that are happening there and all of the, you know, emotional and physical and, you know, coordination and behavior and whether they like certain fruits or vegetables and, and if they're gonna be willing to try things.
I mean, there's so many, you know, opportunities to shape in that first year. And I just wanted to show her like such appreciation for this and, and, and so I remember writing her this thank you note that that talks about how she truly imprinted on not just my son, but like on our hearts and, and what she had had.
Like, we would forever take that with us. And you know, my son is now 13 he will be 14 next month, and I still stay in touch with this woman. And I follow along on her adventures with her with her own children and her grandchildren. And she's from England. And so you know, I love to like see all of her adventures and, and all that stuff, but I think that was the first part where it was like really moving beyond being thankful for a tangible, something that I've opened and that somebody had spent money on and instead, like really being grateful for the time that others have spent enriching my life and the effort that they took to do that.
And that really like, I think has just kind of like continued throughout my adult experience, right? So that was when my son was born. As many of you know, I've always kinda shared about my dad. My dad passed away from pancreatic cancer when my son was almost five. And so that was another moment where it was like all of a sudden, it sounds really, really horrible to be grateful for cancer, to be grateful for a terminal diagnosis, but at the same time, it was this, reminder of, you've got to take into consideration all of life and, and all of the people that have been in your life, and then think about what they've brought to it.
I remember at that point in time, because we, we knew right from the very beginning with my father that his diagnosis was, was as such that we knew we were gonna be on a very, very limited timeframe. And, and I just remember being like, I have to tell him everything. Like there was no way that I was ever gonna be able to be...
I would ever be able to write enough to be to express the gratitude that I had. And so it was just that chance to like, I have to tell him, I have to tell him now. And as you know, my dad was a professor and he was actively teaching when he was diagnosed.
And, one of the things that we did through that was my dad was, very adamant that we invite his current students to the house to get to say, you know, kind of the last lecture. Right? And so that was their chance then to invite in that opportunity to share that role that he had provided for them.
And even now it's been 10 years. This year was 10 years. And I still have my dad's students from the 25 years that he was a professor, that some of them remember me as a five year old little girl. Some of them know me as a 43 year old adult, and they will send me the most poignant and funny and overtly human experiences of what you know, my, Marlboro man of a father meant to them.
I think that is what being grateful means to me. And, I've taken all of those experiences of, you know, how do we name the impact that people have on us, and how do we express that like, you mean something to me because of this. And so I try to challenge myself to remember that it's sometimes in the smallest of little ways that somebody makes a difference to us and we owe it to that person to, to say thank you for doing that. Like, to take time outta your day to, to smile at me, that means so much. Right. And I, I think it's just, it makes the world a better place.
And for me personally, that's a world that I would rather live in than to keep it all in and feel isolated.
Lainie Rowell: You know that I love the very special way that you keep your dad's memory alive and his legacy alive, and the way that you share about him with such love, such specificity, such authenticity. He's so important to you and I just, I love that you share it. I wish I could have met him, but I still feel like I know him in some ways because of the way that you share about him. And it was really profound to me when you said naming the impact, whether it's the caregiver for your child or your parent, or just, there's so many people that impact our lives and often we just don't even mention it because we go, oh, I don't wanna bother 'em.
I mean, there's like a myriad of reasons why we don't always think to mention it. Sometimes we're just rushed. Sometimes it doesn't occur to us. There's so many reasons why it doesn't happen, and so to be so intentional, I imagine that when you're writing that letter, to your son's childcare provider... Were you filled with joy writing that letter?
Brianna Hodges: Oh, absolutely. And then like a little kid. Right? Like, handing it to her and it's, you know, it's that part where you're like, open it, open it, open it, read it.
You want them to know like how special they, you know, and it doesn't have to be big things, I mean, You could sit there and say she was doing her job, right? Like she, she was just, you know, filling this in. Yeah. She was, and she was doing a kick ass job. Like she was incredible. Like, she went above and beyond.
And we say this all the time, like with our children's teachers or you know, their coaches or their you know, whether it's giving them soccer lessons or, you know, teaching them cooking lessons or their everyday elementary school teachers or their high school teachers, or, you know, any of those things like when you take time and you can create a, a, a joyous experience for somebody and a meaningful experience for somebody you wanna thank people for that because there's a lot of drudgery in what we do. And it can be a terrible experience. It can be one of those things where it's like, this is not fun for me. This is not, you know, interesting for me. I don't feel like this is relevant to me or you can turn around and have the exact same content, but done in an engaging way from somebody who is developing or has developed a relationship with you that all of a sudden you're like, wow, this, this, this has impact to me and I think that it's just that joy of impact, right? Of like, whether it is knowing that you've impacted somebody else or being able to show the impact that they have made on you is, is truly one of the most pure forms of joy.
Lainie Rowell: I completely agree. And I'm like getting all the warm fuzzies. I feel like my brain's getting flooded with the happiness chemicals as we're talking because I'm like vicariously living through you having all this gratitude for these people who have impacted your life.
And so it's like the naming and the sharing of the impact... we wanna make sure that people know how what they've done has mattered to us.
Brianna Hodges: I mean, just even thinking back to like the gratitude jar that you and your, your kids made for Lawrence, right?
Like that filled him with such tremendous joy to know that like all these little things that he, he does every day unknowingly probably like, not, not like, not cuz he's set out like, I'm gonna really make an impact with my kids today. You know, like that, that mattered and it's noticed and it's appreciated.
I'm sure all of us could think of a million different examples. One of my favorite ones is from a colleague of mine and she was interviewing for a position and I was on the interviewing committee and she was petrified. She was absolutely nervous to, to go in and I had talked with her the day before and, you know, just to kind of be like, Hey, this is a great opportunity. I know that you have so much genius that you can be able to offer, and I said, when you get nervous, when you, you know, question yourself, I said just look for me and know that there's at least one person in the room that believes in you wholeheartedly. And, you know, look for that smile.
Look for somebody that, you know and kind of go from there. And I didn't really think anything of it cuz I just was, you know, just trying to wish her good luck. Right. And few months passed, she gets the job and I still don't really even think anything of it because she was, was perfect for it.
Right? And it wasn't until almost a year after that that she shared with me how powerful that smile was. Just one spot. She was like, I, I clearly remember, she was like, I can picture everything about it and just looking at you. And like, she's like, I can feel my heart slow down looking at you. And, and she was like, that just that impact means so much.
And that totally meant the world to me. That something so simple as being able to smile at somebody, but at the same time, like I would've never known that if she hadn't named it. And so I guess I just share that from both sides, right? It's the smallest thing that we don't even realize that we're making an impact, and it's also the smallest thing that makes an impact.
Lainie Rowell: Beautifully said, and I mean, like, the storyteller in you is just so lovely. And I like how you even give this very specific example of she sees your smile and then it slows her heartbeat down, right? Because she's so nervous and then she just sees you and you get her to a calmer place where she can move forward in the interview.
I mean, wholeheartedly is how you live. It's how. , I see you in every facet of your life, and that's why I'm just. Refusing to let you out of my life you'll never be able to leave. You're here forever.
Brianna Hodges: Well, I'm glad cause I don't want to leave. Nobody can drag me out, so, haha.
Lainie Rowell: Okay, good. We're stuck together. Okay, perfect. All right. I know we spent a lot of time talking before, so I'm gonna have to let you go pretty soon. I wanna make sure and give you a chance to give your shout out, personal or professional, just anyone top of mind.
Brianna Hodges: Oh my. I'm gonna probably go cheesy, but it's, it's wholeheartedly true.
I wanna give a great big, huge shout to my kids. I have two kids that I have traveled pretty much from day one with both of these kids. They have always been a part of everything that I've done from coaching where Delaney has been in a baby Bjorn on Courtside while I've been holding her, jumping up and down into triple overtime.
To, you know, my son riding the school bus with us to basketball games and being, you know from those points to being at at conferences and also, you know, being a part of, of my roles in schools and, and getting to come in and be part of, of those that I've experimented with and in different pieces like that to, to now being the recipient of those FaceTime calls when I'm not there. And you know, calling my son right before he steps out on, on the football field because a, a flight was missed and I wasn't able to make it home in time. And I had to be the person who told him good luck before he took the field.
I just, I'm constantly grateful for these two little people. They make me a better human. , they make me a better teacher. They make me you know, more intentional. I realize that, like what I say has impact, positive and negative. , intentional and unintentional. And they, they continually give me a redo every day.
Which I am immensely grateful for their grace. And I don't think I could say it enough. I, I think that they truly make me who I aspire to be. They spoil me with lots of love. And I hope that I live up to even a quarter of what they say sometimes.
Lainie Rowell: That is not cheesy at all. I love that you love them so much and you talk about it and you share and you know, obviously we all love our kids. But to have that gratitude for them and to have it while you're in it right. It's so, so easy to like get caught up in the day-to-day and to actually have that appreciation for them every moment and every day. That's amazing.
Brianna Hodges: I'll definitely say that they're at a fun age, 10, and 13, where they're working their way into like really fun to hang out with. I know a lot of you guys know, my son and I travel together all the time and we are competitive with each other and we also coach each other and still I have to be like, I'm the mom, right?
Like, you don't get to treat like, like that stuff too. But it's, it's really fun to see them develop into people and so it's really rewarding to see the fingerprints and the impact of so many others come into their personality too.
Lainie Rowell: Oh, and I have not met Mason and Delaney in person. We have Zoom chatted occasionally.
Brianna Hodges: Yes. They've come through,
Lainie Rowell: They've come through in our chat. But you're just an awesome mom and you make me wanna be a better mom and I just appreciate you in so many ways. I'm so glad you're in my life.
Brianna Hodges: Same, same. Absolutely. I appreciate this opportunity to share with you and to support your work because this is incredible work so thank you.
Lainie Rowell: You're too kind. Now this is where I'm gonna put you on the spot as an accountability piece, and I'm going to say how... you know it's coming, don't you?.
Brianna Hodges: I do, I do.
Lainie Rowell: How's the book coming?
Brianna Hodges: It's coming. It's coming. There's lots of outlines being formed. I've reached out to a few folks. Wheels are in motion. . Things are happening. It is now officially in the 2023 plan that is officially like minted stamped.
Lainie Rowell: This is your commitment device. We are announcing to the world.
Brianna Hodges: It's happening. Yes. So stay tuned for further details and developments, but yes, it will, it will happen this year. A hundred percent.
Lainie Rowell: Okay. I'm so excited. I am so excited. I will be first one in line, ready to hit the button on Amazon as soon as it goes live. I'll set it an alarm if it happens in the middle of the night
Brianna Hodges: maybe madlib style and like people fill in and do all that kind of stuff. But like some version of it will be out for sure.
Lainie Rowell: I mean, I think that would be interesting too. , but I wanna hear your voice cuz you're amazing. All right my friend. How can people connect with you? I'll put it in the show notes, but what's the best way?
Brianna Hodges: Absolutely. So you can find me on all forms of social media at B Hodges, E D U, so B h o d g e s E D U.
I have a really funny story about that, but I'm not gonna share it right now cause I know we're pressed for time. But short version of it is, is that somebody didn't know that, that was like my first initial and my last name. And so they put it all together and they like, they were like, oh, it's bogadishu.
And like the first time that I met them, that's how they introduced themselves. Their spouse knew like what it was and that, anyhow, it was very, very funny, but it was a, just a good reminder of like, just cuz you know how it's, doesn't mean that everybody else does, so, yeah. Yeah. So @BhodgesEDU on social media.
My website is briannahodges.com or you can also find me through the Learner-Centered all kinds of stuff. So look forward to connecting with folks.
Lainie Rowell: You're doing so much great work in the world. I am grateful for you. I know many, many people are, and I'm excited for people who maybe somehow had not already been connected to you.
They should be, but if they're not, no judgment. Now's the time to get on the Bri Train cuz she's amazing.
Brianna Hodges: There you go. Well, I like to say every great story begins with an introduction, so let's introduce each other. It'll be good.
Lainie Rowell: Perfect. I'm gonna put all your socials in. Show notes so people can just touch and go there, click and go there.
And then I'm gonna let you go. And this is really hard for me. I never like saying goodbye, but I feel like, oh my gosh, when am I gonna talk to again?
Brianna Hodges: I guess it's just gonna be, I guess it, it'll be a good reminder for us that we just need to, to pick a restart date for Lemonade Learning.
So I know that'll get us back in the, in the same Zoom frame.
Lainie Rowell: This episode ends with commitment devices, . I love it. I love it. Okay. My sweet friend, my sis. I love you. Love you, love you,
Brianna Hodges: Love you, love you too. Thank you so much.
Lainie Rowell: Thank you all for listening.
Lainie Rowell
If you're grateful for this episode, please be sure to subscribe today. And if you're feeling really thankful, please go to Apple podcasts to submit a review so other educators know the value. One last thing. Please connect on social media using the hashtag #EvolvingWithGratitude to share your gratitude stories.