Shownotes:
Get ready to dive into a whirlwind of inspiration and gratitude! In this episode, I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with the incredible Jill Siler, an expert in thriving through life's challenges. We explore the unexpected power of gratitude in tough moments, the art of being present in the now, and practical strategies for expressing appreciation daily. Plus, Jill shares a fantastic shoutout to someone who's been a game-changer in her journey. It's time to thrive through every moment, and this episode is your guide to making it happen! #ThriveWithGratitude
Jill and I love Compendium ThoughtFulls. (Not a paid endorsement!🤣)
About Our Guest:
Dr. Jill Siler served as a Superintendent of Gunter for nearly ten years and now serves as the Deputy Executive Director for Professional Learning for the Texas Association of School Administrators (TASA). Jill’s first book, Thrive Through the Five, was released in 2020, and focuses on how to thrive through the most challenging seasons.
Website: jillmsiler.com
Twitter: @jillmsiler
Instagram: @jillmsiler
About Lainie:
Lainie Rowell is a bestselling author, award-winning educator, and TEDx speaker. She is dedicated to human flourishing, focusing on community building, social-emotional learning, and honoring what makes each of us unique and dynamic through learner-driven design. She earned her degree in psychology and went on to earn both a post-graduate credential and a master's degree in education. An international keynote speaker, Lainie has presented in 41 states as well as in dozens of countries across 4 continents. As a consultant, Lainie’s client list ranges from Fortune 100 companies like Apple and Google to school districts and independent schools. Learn more at linktr.ee/lainierowell.
Website - LainieRowell.com
Twitter - @LainieRowell
Instagram - @LainieRowell
Evolving with Gratitude, the book is available here! And now, Bold Gratitude: The Journal Designed for You and by You is available too!
Both Evolving with Gratitude & Bold Gratitude have generous bulk pricing for purchasing 10+ copies delivered to the same location.🙌
Just fill out the forms linked above and someone will get back to you ASAP!
Transcript:
Lainie Rowell: [00:00:00] Welcome, friends. Well, this is me again using the podcast because I want to talk to someone. And so you're lucky because she is so amazing. And I'm going to go ahead and just really quickly say hi and then I'll introduce her. But hello, Jill. How are you today?
Jill Siler: I am fantastic and it is great to be with you.
Lainie Rowell: Well, thank you. So Dr. Jill Siler is just a tremendous, wonderful human being that I, I kind of just swoon from afar as I see the incredible work that she's doing. And I'm going to tell you a little bit of her bio, and then I'm going to ask her to enhance with all the other wonderful things she's doing.
So Dr. Siler has served as the superintendent of Gunter for nearly 10 years. Her current position is the deputy executive director for professional learning for the Texas Association of School Administrators, TASA. Now, one of the ways that I have connected with Jill is through her book Thrive Through the Five, which released in 2020, is incredibly relevant at any time that you get to come across this beautiful thing I've got a five star review on Amazon talking about it.
Jill Siler: Thank you!
Lainie Rowell: That is my love language because when you put your heart out there like you so beautifully did, I always want people to know how much I appreciate it. And there's so much inspiration, so many beautiful strategies in there.
And just the way that you carry yourself with grace and confidence and then also help us thrive and Flourish is just really lovely. So Jill, that's just a little bit about you more, more from you, please.
Jill Siler: Yeah, no, thank you for the lovely introduction. And it's great to be with you today. I'm talking about a subject that is so important in this work that we do as leaders, but even more important in our work of just being human beings and being good to one another.
And so I've loved every role that I've had in education. I've served in public ed for 25 years and now get to lead leaders across the state in Texas. And of course, with my book, get to impact leaders across the nation too. And that has been a true privilege. So it's great to be with you today.
Lainie Rowell: Well, thank you.
And you are a keynote speaker. I want to make sure you get that in there because people should have you out just saying.
Jill Siler: I am. And I've had a great privilege to keynote all over the country. It's been wonderful.
Lainie Rowell: It is a joy and I've heard you speak and you're just such an impassioned, insightful person.
You bring so much and I'm gonna not do a graceful segue, but I am going to segue to our first question and just ask you, no right or wrong answer. You know, what does gratitude mean to you, Jill?
Jill Siler: So, I think gratitude, to me, is just that constant need to share our appreciation for others. And I'll tell you, Lainie, like, this has been a journey for me.
I am a Type A personality. Like, I want to get things done. Like, spreadsheets are my love language. I'm a solid Enneagram 3. And so moving into this realm of leadership, I was really good at that task aspect of the job. And it really took some time for gracious people to pour into me to really help me understand that this work that we do as leaders is about people.
And even if we're not that necessarily touchy feely out there all the time. Like that's our personality that there are things that we can hone in on to be really good at valuing and supporting people. And gratitude is one of them. And so for me it was things like when I walked into my superintendency there was so much to do and, you know, you walk down halls and meet people and, and all of those things.
And in your mind, you're like selecting that to do list. Okay, we need to do this. We need to support this person. We need to order these resources, whatever that might be. And just getting to a place where you realize, okay, so gratitude is so important. So how do we do that in this busy work that we have as leaders?
And so for me, I've really approached it in my type a kind of personality, like what structure systems and processes can we put into place to then authentically share our gratitude with one another. And I know that that sounds kind of like an oxymoron, but for me, it's kind of like, if it's not on your schedule, it's not going to happen if it's not on your calendar.
And so it was, how do we strategically do that? So for me, it was things like walking out of a campus and stopping for a moment and I would keep a spiral notepad at my desk and just write down the list of names of people who I wanted to touch base with and share my appreciation with them. I didn't have the time at that moment to do it, but I would take time on Friday afternoon to be really specific in sharing that gratitude.
So I think finding ways to, to in whatever way that it works for you to make that happen is so important because. It's critical for us as people, as humans and as leaders.
Lainie Rowell: I couldn't agree more. So let me just tell you all the ways that I was just completely on board with you because I am a type A, task collector, task master kind of person.
And so I had to be coached up and I love that you said people were graciously pouring into you, teaching you kind of this way because... I can even think of times where like, I would start an email and then I would send it to a mentor and I'd be like, how does this email sound?
And they'd be like yeah, it's great. You're coming in kind of hot. Could you have some sort of opening to express gratitude or just something to kind of make a connection to the person before you go straight to business? And I'm like, oh, that's an interesting strategy. Luckily, I've met this person very early on in my career and have hopefully managed to do that but to this day, I still have to take a beat before I hit send and go, how's my tone? Am I just task mastering this or am I pouring into this person that I value them and I appreciate them?
Jill Siler: So I take exactly what you just said to like next level in that I write every email in that tone, in that, like I put down all of the facts, everything.
And the very last thing before I do before I hit send is go back to the top and rewrite my beginning, because, and I don't even force myself to start there because it's just not my innate personality, like, let me just get the work out and what needs to be done, but before I hit send, inevitably, I will go back to the beginning and rewrite the beginning to make sure that I'm expressing, like, by the way, hi, like, a greeting of some sort, and then some sort of just word of specific, intentional valuing of whoever it is that I'm writing to.
Lainie Rowell: Thank you for making me feel seen, heard.
Jill Siler: I was sharing with you before the show that I was just a little anxious about coming on because A, this is your body of work. Like you've done such good work on how to Honor Gratitude, How to Bring the Practice of Gratitude to Life with Students, with Leaders, all of those things, and this is not my area of forte, but I also took a minute because I know that I've heard really good words around this, and I was pulling back an interview that I had read with Brene Brown, and of course I love her work, but she talks about this, and it made me feel so much better because it kind of edified these things that we're talking about, that this whole notion of gratitude, that it's, it's more than just a feeling of being grateful, she says.
It's about developing an observable practice. So often we think that joy makes us grateful, but in reality, it's gratitude that brings us joy. And then just talking about, so how do we bring that to life? And so I'm glad that I'm not alone in finding ways to make that come to life, because it is a practice.
It doesn't just happen. It might be an emotion, but until we share that emotion, it does little to the people that we're engaging with.
Lainie Rowell: Yeah, I think it practice because it is an ongoing thing, right? And it's You know, sometimes weaponized in my own home that I wrote a book on gratitude, like, I'll do something and I'm reminded that I've, you know, written about gratitude and I'm supposed to be really good at this.
Doesn't mean I'm really good at it all the time. So, still work in progress. We write the books that we need to read, right?
Jill Siler: There you go.
Lainie Rowell: That's what I did.
Jill Siler: I love it. I love it.
Lainie Rowell: Speaking of Brene Brown, you got her to keynote your event.
Jill Siler: I did.
Lainie Rowell: Do you know someone? I need some intel.
Jill Siler: So it's funny because it was a process to get her. But in terms of the world of gratitude, I'll just share how that happened. Which was that we were very thoughtful and specific and strategic in how we went about approaching her team. Filling out the application, doing all of those things but like when I had an interview with her speaking team I know our viewers can't see this, but I have like a floor to ceiling bookcase behind me, and in all of my entries, I had included Brene Brown books, and then in addition, had written a really thoughtful letter about just the timing of education, specifically in Texas, and the word that our leaders needed to support our teachers in terms of being valued and heard given all of the political nature.
So really tried to speak to that. But then last I included a packet of the impact of Dr. Brene Brown's work on Texas educators. And I went through social media and I pulled every snapshot of every Twitter post, social media posts about teams doing a Brene Brown book study and whatnot and shared that with her just as a token of appreciation.
And so I think, in our work, it's those things that set true leaders apart from one another, not just that they do good work, but it's that level of thoughtfulness and just being strategic about things and being intentional. And so for me when we talk about how to do this practice of gratitude with one another, sometimes it's also modeling how that occurs.
And so I gathered up on my desk, a couple of things that our team has done in our professional learning events. But again, how do we model this practice of gratitude to others? And so every part of the design of one of our events maybe not like a major conference, but anything where it's small in Texas small is like 500 or smaller.
So anytime I have a crowd that's small, intimate like that we're always trying to find ways to build in affirmation and build in gratitude. And so a couple of things, and these are easy things that you can do on your own leadership team. But this one right here I took some of my favorite quotes around different characteristics.
This one is called the encourager quote, and it's a quote by Robin Sharmer . " Leave everyone you meet better than you found them. Become an encourager of potential versus a destroyer of confidence." And on the very top it says the word encourager. And then we have our people on the back write a specific note of gratitude to someone else and leave it for them throughout the conference.
Another great little tool I found was this one by Thoughtfuls. It was a company called Compendium, And they're called pop up cards and it has just a little word on top and you write a note on the back of gratitude and you share it with someone else and then they get to pop open this card and inside is a beautiful quote around that term.
I've used things like successory cards. I'm a huge Successories fan, if you were ever flying back in the 90s, and you saw the magazines, they always had big Successories ads, but it's words around motivation, encouragement, and have just provided these for attendees to allow that to happen. And then at our last staff retreat that we just had last week, one of my colleagues led an activity around affirmation, and he just brought in super simple canvas boards, and we just wrote in our name, And then as an entire staff we rotated and wrote words that we really thought of when we thought about that person and so my board is covered with words like inspirational, empowering, amazing, powerful, committed, and so just to hear and receive those words of affirmation and gratitude was a really powerful moment.
And so I say all that to say that our job is not only personally to share gratitude with one another, but sometimes our job is to model what that looks like for other people and setting up strategies and processes for that to actually happen. Cause when it happens, man, it's powerful.
Lainie Rowell: Oh my goodness. You were worried to come on this show.
You have so many concrete examples of great gratitude practices. And by the way, we're not making any money on this, but I have the Thoughtfuls too. I keep them in my wallet. They're just such the perfect little size and to be able to write something on the back. I love those. So Jill and I are not making any money on this, but I'll put a link in the show notes because it's easy to have them.
Jill Siler: And I'll tell you too, one cool thing that we did at our last one is that we actually had someone write the card to someone who had impacted their lives, and we had them Google, text, whatever to get the address, and they left them with us, and our organization mailed them to the people, and it was so neat to see the impact, like the trickle down impact that happened after that event, again by systemically finding a way to show appreciation and gratitude with others.
Lainie Rowell: I just got the goosies. And I love your approach to gratitude. That is being thoughtful to me. That is being considerate. That's a part of, I find this to be so important, I'm not going to leave it to chance or circumstance or in my case, my memory.
I am gonna make sure that these things are in place so that this happens no matter what. And so I love all of that. Those are great strategies now.
Jill Siler: Thank you.
Lainie Rowell: Now, as you've probably figured out, Jill, I am not a segue queen.
I don't do this transitioning gently, but I do want to make sure that before we run out of time, that we get to talk about your book. Can you tell people who have not had a chance to read, and by the way, that, that's not necessarily likely because a lot of people have read this book, but let's just assume that we have someone who maybe did not get a chance to read it yet.
2020 was a busy year. So, so if they didn't get a chance to catch it before now, what's, what's the book about?
Jill Siler: So I shared earlier that I love what I do, and I've loved every role I've had in education. I started as a paraprofessional, I was a classroom teacher and coach, a campus leader, a district leader, superintendent, and now I get to impact leaders across the state, and I love what I do.
But often, when you tell people that, they kind of come back with this notion, like the quote out there, right? If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. But the truth is, right, I love what I do and I've never worked harder than I have in this profession, and specifically in the past few years.
And I think that that is missing that just authentic truth of this work is really hard. In fact, being a teacher has never been harder. Being a leader in education has never been harder. As my association, we're the supporters of superintendents and on our group chat or on our Slack channels, whatever it might be, it's a constant news release, this superintendent has retired. This superintendent has stepped out and it's like, gosh, we're losing such good people. So I love this work that we get to do. It's such a privilege to work with young people, but I also know that it's hard. And so I wanted to write a book about how do you not just survive when things get tough.
Because if that's what we did, that would just not be living, right? So how do we do more than that? How do we truly thrive? And I think there's a lot of just, Merit that can come from talking about how do we be our best selves, not just at work, which is so critical 'cause our kids need that.
Our leaders need that, our teachers need that. But how do we also have a best self to come home with? And so that's really what the book is about, is just, you know, how do we approach things like when there's failure, how do we approach things like fear or when we're anxious or we're doubting, how do we approach it when the pressure is really hard really high, whether it's us putting it on ourselves or someone in the organization doing that.
How do we handle those situations and do more than just survive those moments? So that's what I got a chance to write about.
Lainie Rowell: I love that. And you get to speak about this, right? Getting a chance to go out and share? And, and what, can you tell me, I'm just being kind of an author nerd right now, because the book's been out for a while.
You've been, you've been able to talk about it. Like, what has maybe evolved for you since the launch of the book because its been a very interesting time in history. And I'm totally catching off guard with this question, so I can edit this out, that is no problem.
Jill Siler: No, I think the thing that has surprised me, you know, I really wanted to write a book. I just have had that that desire and that dream for a long time. I did not anticipate just the opportunity in speaking that would just avail itself to me.
And so I have worked with leadership groups. I've done convocations. I've done major conferences. I've worked with people outside of education. And so to be able to walk in and not just talk about specific strategies of how to thrive when things get really challenging. But to honor and value the fact that the work that we do is hard.
I think that that has been needing. And I think when a group gets someone in front of them who says like, I get it, this work is tough. Let's talk about it. And then talk about truly, you know, practical steps again of how do we move through that? I think that it is appreciated. So that's been the unexpected gift for me is being able to share with audiences and work with leaders and and just share a word of encouragement for our teachers too.
Lainie Rowell: And I love how you mentioned that you've actually been able to speak outside of education. And so this has been kind of an opportunity for growth for me, in that I recently became you'll appreciate the name, I recently became a contributor to Thrive Global, which is Ariana Huffington's community.
And so it's been really fun to take ideas that we value and promote in education and see how they actually apply in all sectors and not just professionally, but also personally. And so that's been a really fun journey for me and sounds like you're, you're getting a chance to do that too.
Jill Siler: Absolutely. And I think, you know, it really comes down to this work is also the work of just being a human and being a good human. And so that transcends every profession that we have and that's really what gratitude and leadership come down to.
Lainie Rowell: I love that. I want to make sure that I give you an opportunity...
do you have any other tips or suggestions for our listeners? It can be about gratitude specifically, but I want you to feel comfortable sharing... It could be from your book or just your work recently.
Jill Siler: Yeah, I think, you know, one of the things I've been mulling around, especially in the realm of gratitude is obviously, you know, it's easy to show gratitude in those moments that are fantastic.
When you're on that vacation with your family, when you've had this big achievement, like a book of yours coming out, whatever that looks like, it is so easy to find gratitude in those moments. But some of the most beautiful moments of gratitude for me have come from places that have not been those mountaintop kind of experiences.
I think back to early on in my superintendency and walked into just some financial crisis and had to really make some difficult decisions. And I was so surprised at the Gratitude that I had in that moment. Because you typically don't equate those two things. And I think that goes back to what, you know, Brene Brown talked about, right?
It's not just about feeling grateful. It's about developing that observable practice. But in that specific moment for me, it was kind of this feeling of, you know, I hate that I'm having to make these decisions for this community, but I'm so thankful to have the privilege to sit in the seat, to be able to guide some of these decisions for this group of people that I now love and call home which I still live at, you know, 10 years later.
And so for me, you know, I think about some of the systemic pieces that we've talked about, like how do you structure that in your day and make sure that you're able to share those words of affirmation with people. But I also, my personal challenge is to become Grateful on that moment to moment basis, you know, not just at the end of the Friday when you have time to write cards to people, not just maybe in a daily gratitude, but in those day to day moments of, you know, where am I just finding those moments to be grateful, especially in moments that you wouldn't necessarily think that that would be there. And so I don't know if that resonates with you and the research that you've done around gratitude, but that's been just a surprising thing for me that I've been thinking of through.
Lainie Rowell: Yeah, one of the themes that kind of keeps coming up for me with gratitude is this idea of, you know, gratitude for things in the past, gratitude for things in the present, and gratitude for things that we look forward to.
And it's just, to me, it's often hardest to be grateful in the present because I'm really focused on it.
Jill Siler: Yes, yes.
Lainie Rowell: So I think that's a really important practice because you're talking about in the moments, right? It's, we could always reflect on it later, but actually being present enough to be grateful in the moment.
That's a, that's a good skill. Love it. Alright my friend, anything else you want to share with the group before we get to the shoutout? The group, like we're all in the same room.
Jill Siler: I know. I know, no, I'm excited about this shoutout. I've been thinking about it quite a bit.
Lainie Rowell: Alright, let's get to the shoutout.
Jill Siler: So I think the question that you had for me was just who's someone that you are grateful for personally and professionally and that, I mean, there's so many, like, I just, like, the list is endless the people that I work with and the people that I live with and, you know, family and friends and all those things, but on this specific occasion, related to this specific topic, I think the person that I want to give thanks to is my current boss.
So Kevin Brown, who I would totally encourage you having a conversation with because I have learned so much from, and specifically around this topic of gratitude, is a constant source, not just of gratitude, but in the encouragement of giving gratitude on a just a And so some of the practices that he has shared with me have really impacted just who I am as a person.
And so he has been a huge influence for me just as a leader and as a human, but specifically around gratitude. I'm really thankful for what I've learned from him in that realm.
Lainie Rowell: Well, if you're recommending him, I will take you up on that recommendation. Maybe you'll introduce us.
Jill Siler: I would love to.
Lainie Rowell: Okay well that was a lovely shout out and hopefully he will get a chance to hear this and we will get to share this with an audience pretty quickly I think actually. I think this will go live on Tuesday because I have not like I don't have a huge bank right now because I've been busy all summer and I know you have too so.
Jill Siler: I hear ya.
Lainie Rowell: Well thank you for that shout out. Now let's make sure because people are going to want to connect with you if they're not already. What is the best way to reach you, Jill?
Jill Siler: So I am Jill M. Siler on all of the platforms. So my website is jillmSiler. com and then Twitter, Instagram, all of the things.
I'm Jill M. Siler.
Lainie Rowell: Jill M. Siler across the web. It does not get any easier than that, friends. She has made it so easy to access her and I love that. So do reach out to her, check out her website, connect with her on socials. I'll make sure all the links are in the show notes. And Well, Jill, this went too fast.
I'm really sad.
Jill Siler: Well, it has been a joy to just get a few minutes to chat with you. And thank you so much for the work that you're doing and for the practice with gratitude that you're sharing with the rest of the world.
Lainie Rowell: Thank you. And thank you all for listening.