Shownotes:
Join me for an episode packed with goodness! I'm diving into a joyful conversation with the incredible Dr. Yvette Cantu. Discover the magic of authentic acknowledgment and bask in Yvette's brilliant "vitamin D time" concept. Get ready for a dose of inspiration, practical tips, and a whole lot of heartwarming moments. Don't miss out – this episode will leave you smiling and motivated to cultivate positivity both personally and professionally!
About Our Guest:
Dr. Yvette Cantu has been in education for over 35 years. She is proud to have been an aide, elementary teacher, and principal. Dr. Cantu has served the Buena Park School District, first as the Director of Curriculum and Instruction and then as the district’s Chief Academic Officer. She focuses on developing programs and instructional strategies based on the whole child philosophy and supports a vision of opportunity, achievement equity, and social-emotional success for all students.
Website: bpsd.us/divisions/educational-services
X/Twitter: @DrCantu14
About Lainie:
Lainie Rowell is a bestselling author, award-winning educator, and TEDx speaker. She is dedicated to human flourishing, focusing on community building, social-emotional learning, and honoring what makes each of us unique and dynamic through learner-driven design. She earned her degree in psychology and went on to earn both a post-graduate credential and a master's degree in education. An international keynote speaker, Lainie has presented in 41 states as well as in dozens of countries across 4 continents. As a consultant, Lainie’s client list ranges from Fortune 100 companies like Apple and Google to school districts and independent schools. Learn more at linktr.ee/lainierowell.
Website - LainieRowell.com
Twitter - @LainieRowell
Instagram - @LainieRowell
Evolving with Gratitude, the book is available here! And now, Bold Gratitude: The Journal Designed for You and by You is available too!
Both Evolving with Gratitude & Bold Gratitude have generous bulk pricing for purchasing 10+ copies delivered to the same location.🙌
Just fill out the forms linked above and someone will get back to you ASAP!
Transcript:
Lainie Rowell: [00:00:00] Well, hello, friends. I am so honored, delighted, filled with joy to welcome our guest Yvette Cantu. Welcome, Yvette.
Yvette Cantu: Thank you.
Lainie Rowell: I cannot wait to share more about you. There's so much so here we go. Dr. Yvette Cantu. Over 35 years in education, every role, friends. She's been an aide, elementary teacher, principal. She's done it all. She is currently in Buena Park School District.
She started as the Director of Curriculum and Instruction. She is now serving as the Chief Academic Officer. She has so many wonderful things that she focuses on. I'm going to let her take it from here.
Yvette Cantu: Yes. Well, one of the things that I am just so proud to do is to be the head of our educational services department, which includes special education, student and community services, curriculum instruction, as well as being able to be the one in the forefront of all that is teaching and learning in our district, along with special programs.
Lainie Rowell: Oh wow, I mean, you're doing it all, right?
Yvette Cantu: I've got a great team.
Lainie Rowell: You do, you do, and I had, I'm just gonna put this out there, cause. I often just jump to talking with the guests, and I don't always give context for how we know each other. And so we had a chance to meet at, this is the world's longest acronym, the CAMTSS PLI.
My goodness, that's a long one, isn't it? The California MTSS Professional Learning Institute in Anaheim. It was so wonderful. Dr. Miramontes. introduced us. It was lovely to meet you there and then I had the complete joy of coming and doing a welcome for your staff to kick off the year and you all made me feel so incredibly welcome. That was just a wonderful experience so I appreciate that.
Yvette Cantu: Wonderful way to start the year off for our teachers and staff. They still talk about it to this day. It has been one of the best ways to start a school year that we've had in many years so thank you for that.
Lainie Rowell: So, Yvette, I wanted to say, you went on before I did, and when you took that stage, your energy is so infectious, and just your light shines so bright, and I truly believe that every teacher, and it was hundreds, in that gymnasium, they felt your love, your energy, how you pour into them.
And so I don't mean to embarrass you, but I do want to get that on the record.
Yvette Cantu: Oh, thank you for that. Thank you for that. That was really the goal, is I wanted the teachers to feel valued and cared for especially knowing what's ahead of a teacher's year. And so with having you there was, I have to tell you they have said thank you for having you there because your words meant a lot to them.
Gratitude for their work and for us to show gratitude to our students. But I have to tell you, there's a couple of things that you did that we will never forget. You gave us permission to laugh from the belly, and that pause to take a big group selfie is something that was so simple but so powerful because, you know, proximity, you can feel the energy, you can feel folks caring for one another, and when we finished that time and we kind of folded on the outside. People didn't leave. People didn't leave. They wanted to continue that feeling. So thank you for that.
Lainie Rowell: Oh, well, I appreciate you giving me some credit there.
But I think this topic, which I, I keep staying in for that, for that reason, it's so deep, it's so rich, and leads to such fulfillment that it's, it's just something that we can all kind of gather around and help us in good times and in challenging times, right?
I want to give a shout out to Marlon Styles for suggesting that selfie activity. He gave me that idea. He gave me permission to take it and that was a lovely moment. So I thank you for giving me the latitude to do that, and to Marlon for that activity, which is now a staple in my presentations, because you're right, that proximity, that let's be together and celebrate was a lovely moment. I want to get to that first question. I'm so linear in my thinking, but I always want to make sure I give every opportunity for you to share all of your greatness.
Yvette, what does gratitude mean to you? And of course, this isn't necessarily a definition, just in your own words. And I know this is deep in you, so I cannot wait to hear.
Yvette Cantu: I think for me it's really living in a positive space being able to intentionally take in all that's good, as well as to be the face of that for others when needed, or more importantly, when not asked for, to show gratitude and thankfulness for others.
Lainie Rowell: I love that when not asked for, well I love the whole thing, I love the whole thing, and I really honed in on that, when not asked for, because that's a really beautiful part of it, right?
Yvette Cantu: Yes, yes, yes.
Lainie Rowell: So what does this look like in your life? And feel free to go personal, professional, however you want to take it.
Yvette Cantu: So I think one of the things is I'm being much more intentional in showing gratitude in both work space, professional space, and also in my personal space. Oftentimes, I am been more focused in on supporting the people that I work with and then taking for granted the people I go home to. And so, I've been making a much more conscious effort of knowing that I'm able to do what I do professionally because I have a wonderful team behind me at home.
I have two wonderful sons that I can now say they are grown adults. And it just pleased me that they still want to be with me and my husband. I have a husband who has always, in our 31 years of marriage put my needs and my career and our kids first even as taking a backseat himself to his professional goals.
And so I've been much more mindful of thanking them and letting them know how proud I am to be part of their lives. Professionally, coming out of COVID I realized that before COVID, we weren't saying thank you enough. During COVID, we realized that that was all we had was one another and to show gratitude for being healthy for regaining health and for coming out of maybe for some trauma. So it was all around us, social, emotional development, everywhere you looked, it was self care, social, emotional development to the point where it was like, enough, let's just work hard. And then I realized that, you know, what did we learn? We don't want to go back to the way we were.
We want to get better from COVID. And so part of that is acknowledging, you know, the health of others, the care that others give us and wanting to let them know that they're cared for.
Lainie Rowell: I really appreciate you sharing with the listeners and me about thinking about those people we go home to because as educators, this is my perspective, I feel like our job is so rewarding and all consuming that it's sometimes easy, especially when you've got that great support system at home to kind of feel like they're fine, they're good, and so to be that intentional in saying that I have to make time an intention with them, right?
Yvette Cantu: And it's kind of putting into practice what you've been teaching and preaching at work. So for example, we talk about the importance of our staff, adults, and students hearing five positive to one correction or critical support. And I realized I don't do that at home. It's kind of like I come home. I'm tired of talking.
I'm tired of smiling. Leave me alone. What do you mean? I can't watch the TV show I want to watch. You know, I've been working all day. And so I've been much more mindful to really be more present with the folks at home in just a way that's just about bringing fun and joy and laughter. So when I'm asked how my day was now, instead of saying, I don't want to talk about it, I actually picked something to say one thing that was really hard and one thing that was really fun.
And then asking back, how was your day? For my kids, even though they're grown, reminding them how proud I am of them, but more specific. And so it's kind of like what we say for our kids is that they need to hear the word so they can create that tape for themselves. And, and when times get hard, play it back.
And so instead of me just reminding them of what to do when they're out in public, mind your manners, do this, do that, it's more letting them know specifically why I think they're wonderful adults, specifically about the joy that they bring to me because of who they are as people.
Lainie Rowell: Oh, you've got these grown, wonderful humans and I'm learning, listening to you.
I have smaller humans at home and I love how you're saying, you know, what was one thing that was really hard? What was one thing that was really good? And that's something I'm trying to be really intentional with because. Sometimes people will lead with just what's really good, and I do this too, and when we got on today, I said what's going well, what else is going on, and I'm still always trying to figure out what's the best way.
I want to make sure that people feel like they have permission to tell me and share whatever they need to share. It shouldn't just be a forced, tell me something good. And, and, if I have, I have two tweens now, and, you know, this is when friendships get tricky. And if they're going through something really tough and they walk in the door, they're not necessarily going to embrace the question, What's going well?
Yvette Cantu: Exactly.
Lainie Rowell: They're gonna be like, I am hungry, I am annoyed, there's some friction going on in our friend group, or you know, I don't know what's going on in their head, so I really do appreciate that you're articulating, it's we want to know both of those things, and I'm always trying to find, I think this is a tricky line to walk, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, I'm always trying to walk this of how do we encourage looking for the good because our negativity bias is going to push us towards seeing the threats and the dangers, which of course we need to some extent, but we don't want to go too far in that direction. So I'm always trying to figure out what's the magic to, how do we know, if you figured this out, please let me know.
Yvette Cantu: Well, I tell you, I'm working on it because when you see your kids going through that passage of time and for me, I'm now reflecting on, did I miss something? You know, I hear what our struggles are elementary kids are having. Did I miss that in my own kid's life? Middle school, how challenging that is.
High school, that bridge to adulthood and then college and beyond. And so now I'm kind of going back and trying to make up for anything I could have skipped. So for example, when I asked about work, I asked, is there anything, challenging I can help you with. You know, I learned this about leadership.
I learned this about something specifically that I think connects to them. And then I do wait for them to say, Oh, tell me more. Or, you know, mom, what are you talking about? I'm like, I don't know. I just want to share with you. Just listen, humor me, you know? And then for their personal lives, it's the same. I bring up some of the things that I know our students are are going through a challenge and I say, are you facing that?
You know, or how did you deal with that when you were in school? Is there something that as a parent that I missed that you can tell me that I can go back and help our parents with? So it's more of even asking them, was there more you needed from me? And that's so hard because I don't want to hear it, you know, in my heart, my head wants to hear it.
And I think that's why I'm much more mindful of the fact that, am I really telling them specifics so they can replay that back and their own personal take when they need it. Because I tell our parents here how important it is for their kids to hear that they're cared for, that they're loved. I didn't grow up hearing love, but I sure felt it.
So I started parenting that same way of feeling it, not saying it. And then I realized people do need to hear it. I started liking to hear it. So I'm mindful of that. But then I'm also wanting to balance that with how am I showing it? How am I showing up for them? You know and also how am I giving them a balance between knowing how to solve their own problems with just being a good listening ear?
Because many of us go home to people who you tell them how their day was and they want to solve it. You don't always want a solution. As a matter of fact, I never want a solution from my husband.
Lainie Rowell: That's amazing.
Yvette Cantu: We saw things two different ways, right? That's what not to do, you know?
Lainie Rowell: So fair, so fair.
Yvette Cantu: Give you a book to read. So, it's one of those things where learning to be a good listener and being able to walk that tightrope between giving some suggestions, some tidbits, or when just to really listen and give a hug.
And so I'm kind of flipping that, you know, where trying those things at home either because I missed earlier or I know it's still needed. And then coming back and being able to tell that story to the people I work with, both my colleagues and to the parents and teachers that I'm supporting.
Lainie Rowell: I don't know if you need to hear this, but Yvette, I know you are an amazing mom and always have been.
And I think that's the hardest thing about parenting is there's no perfect way to do it. And we can always Monday Morning Quarterback our child rearing. So, oh my goodness. Those are words of wisdom, and my kids will be home from school this afternoon and I'm really going to focus in on that listening. I am one of those who likes to solve a problem. I like to solve a problem. So if you want to talk to me about your problem. Let's, let's workshop this. I've got some solutions for you.
And there are a lot of times like I don't want your solution. I don't want your mom solution to my friend group problem. No, thank you. But if you could just listen, that would be amazing. That's a really good piece of advice. One thing I've been doing for, for as long as I can remember is, and not that I don't love, love, love music, but we don't listen to music in the car because that is a time to really connect with each other. I'm captive listening to them. They're captive listening to me. It's just such a great time for communication.
I know your kids are older. I still am doing the drive around. So I've got them in the car. And I know that this translates everything and you're doing a beautiful job of sharing how personally and professionally and what I'm kind of processing in my head is you talking about how it's this, we're modeling, we're listening, and we're working with to provide solutions to, to develop solutions when appropriate, not just as a default.
Yvette Cantu: Yes, yes. And I think in a professional life and those that I work with, I am leading through support because I'm trying not to be the little red hen. I'll do it myself. But really empowering others and building capacity. And so something intentional in our work is this whole notion of gratitude.
So we just had a retreat with my team and our theme over the district is building bridges and beyond. So for my team, it's building bridges of gratitude. That's our theme, because we know that if we can show some compassion, some empathy and thankfulness for those teachers working hard, for parents looking to us for support that we're going to help. That's the capacity we all need, actually. So to model that and then I just gave them some expectations of how we're doing it. We're just gonna do it. We're going to be kind to one another and ourselves intentionally until it becomes just something we do automatically without feeling guilty.
You know, feeling it's part of our work time to sit and reflect on what's going on, the positivity around us. I called it D time, a vitamin D time, get out and walk, get out from behind your desk. If you can't get to a school site and walk a campus and breathe and be happy that we are alive and doing well, and that we're so privileged to do the work we do, do it, because that's going to feed you.
And be the more the person you want to be in your workspace. And so we, we just said vitamin D time. And I'm also asking that when someone's out getting their vitamin D time, don't interrupt it. Let them be. That's how we're showing gratitude from one another is letting them have that space. The other thing too, is that the expectation that I set is that reflection time to celebrate.
Because I work with a high powered team of women that we usually end our day with the weight of what didn't go well, what's left to do, so just celebrate that you accomplished something, you know, you answered some emails, you picked up that phone when you didn't have to, you saw who was calling on the other line, and you still were brave enough to do it, so celebrate that and then finally, it's around acknowledging others in a way that's really authentic.
So again, that reflection. And so we took some time and we just listed all the ways we would like to be acknowledged. And when I say we know, we can't take things off your plate. My thing now is I can't take things off your plate, I can help you rearrange them.
But I can surely acknowledge how hard you're working and be there if you need something. And so what we did was we just listed. And as a team, the ways that we can acknowledge one another. And the other thing too, is it feels good to do that. So it's twofold, right? You know, you really are showing someone really that not only are you thankful for them, but specifically why in a way they can best receive it.
And then it just feels good doing it.
Lainie Rowell: What I hear when you talk about your work with your team, I hear you have so much trust in them. That you're so honest with them, and that the way that you frame gratitude is not to dismiss what's hard, it's to acknowledge the good authentically, and that really resonates with me, and I had to chuckle when you said I can't take things off your plate, I can help you rearrange the plate.
It's just so true, right? We want to take things off the plate. That's not always an option. And that's just a reality. And I think that that honesty you have, that's part of your integrity. And that really helps people believe in their leader. You're such a tremendous leader.
I want to be on your team. You bring so much light and so much joy. From the moment I met you, I knew you were my gratitude soulmate. And so I just really appreciate you giving us these very specific and authentic ways that we can bring gratitude into our personal and professional lives. You've given us so many nuggets and I just want to give you an opportunity. Is there anything else tip wise that you want to share with our listeners? Something that they can bring into their, their personal or professional life?
Yvette Cantu: I just think offer yourself grace that you offer to others. Being grateful means that you are seeing yourself for who you are, and it's good and it's okay. I often say that one of the things that I strive for is to be the best person I can be, but I know it's not happening overnight. I know in these long years I've been here, I haven't got there yet. Cause every year I learn something more that I want to become, that I want to be for myself and for those that I work with and those that I cherish. And even my circle beyond, you know, those that are adjacent to my circle. I really believe in that six degrees of separation.
So there's some folks out there, there's some things out there that I know I'm going to be in contact with soon, and I'm going to be grateful for expanding my circle, but it's going to bring some stress. It may bring even some hardship, and I want to just be able to be there in a moment, offer myself grace, and I think that's what I want others to do for themselves, is just offer yourself grace, and that's a way of showing that self care, and that gratitude for the space that we're in, and I think offering that to others is also a way of showing gratitude, or of being with those who are trying their best.
Lainie Rowell: So the listeners can't see this, but you and I can see each other on Zoom. And as you're talking about offering yourself grace, my shoulders drop, I take a deep breath. You're giving me that permission to just let go of what sometimes is serving me well in aspirational and I want to continuously approve and other times weighing me down because I feel like I'm not doing enough.
I really appreciate that. So much wisdom. Oh my goodness. Well, I'm looking forward to hearing your shout out. Who would you like to send some appreciation and gratitude to?
Yvette Cantu: So I would really love to give some gratitude to someone who keeps me going in the right direction in my work life. And that is my wonderful secretary, Eva Sanchez.
I always say if you ever really want to hear from me, get to her first. She makes me look good, so to speak, you know, so to say. She makes me look good. She makes me look like I have it all together when it's falling apart. And she knows that. She can see it in me when I walk in.
She's very perceptive. Just the conversation I start off with, she's like, okay, I gotcha. So I just really appreciate that in her. And then I really do want to give a shout out to the principals that I work with who show me every day that their students and their teaching staff and their support staff is number one to them.
And they do all they can to be that leader that inspires and supports. and Gives Direction. And I'm always very impressed and I'm inspired by them. And I think lastly, we have a very new member on our team, our superintendent, who I've known before coming here, Dr. Julianne Lee. And she's given us permission to be brave and courageous in our work.
And I truly am grateful to that.
Lainie Rowell: Oh, so lovely and I wanted to say a huge thank you for dedicating this time. I am grateful to anyone who carves out the time to come on this podcast to share their knowledge, their wisdom.
I have to say when I am having a guest that is in a position like yours at a district office, I have a little anxiety that there's a high probability of the recording getting cancelled, because, by the way, for the listeners, she's nodding because she knows what I'm talking about, because all those that you serve, you know, a teacher in a classroom obviously has so much responsibility, and then principals have so much responsibilities, but there are so many things that you are responsible for, and when something goes wrong, they're coming to you. And so I am very aware that this is borderline miraculous that we were able to make this happen. I am so grateful to you for your time again, sharing all your wisdom and I really want to make sure that people can connect with you after hearing all of your brilliance. So, with that, what would you like people to do to connect with you?
Yvette Cantu: So, you can go on our district website bpsd.us. And you can just look for me Yvette Cantu send me a message if y ou'd like. I am on Instagram just look up Yvette Cantu and send me a message, or just give me a shout out there and connect.
One of the things that I'm really excited about too is I have to give a plug to our instructional program or things that we're trying to do with our most vulnerable kids, our, our most at promise students. And we have just a phenomenal group of teachers who have put their eyes and hearts and arms around our students and they're showcasing them.
So look up anything on Buena Park School District.
Lainie Rowell: That's amazing. We want to see what's going on. I know you all are doing amazing work and you've given us so many great things to think about. I can't wait to get this episode out.
Yvette Cantu: You're quite welcome.
This is just, it's been a pleasure. It's been fun. Thank you for that.
Lainie Rowell: I appreciate this time to sit and chat with you and thank you all for listening.