Episode 73 - Mindful Magic for Creative Energy with Guest Erika Sandstrom

Shownotes:

Jump into the magical world of creativity and mindfulness with the incredible Erika Sandstrom. Join us as we explore the power of gratitude as a "magic potion" for a happy life and learn how simple yet profound practices can transform your daily routine. Discover the secrets of creating your very own "breathing bubbles" and find out how they can bring a sense of peace and presence to your day. Plus, stay tuned for a sneak peek into Erika's upcoming book, where kindness, empathy, and creativity collide in the most heartwarming way. Tune in and let's cultivate our best life together! 🌟✨

About Our Guest:

Erika is a Digital Learning Coach and Digital Media Teacher in 32nd year as an educator currently specializing in Green Screen and creative video production.  Dubbed “Green Screen Gal”, Erika shares her creative media and mindfulness passions as a featured speaker at conferences, provides district PD, hosts online webinars, serves as a Canvassador for Canva, and co-hosted Week of AI and Genially EDFest.  Erika also created the  Green Screen Summit and was featured on the cover of the of Ed Tech K12 Magazine and named one of TOP 30 IT Inlfuencers to follow. Her book “Cultivating Compassion Through Creativity” is out in 2024!

TUTORIAL ➡️ bit.ly/flipbubble

Website: GreenScreenGal.com

Twitter: @greenscreengal
Instagram: @greenscreengal44

About Lainie:

Lainie Rowell is a bestselling author, award-winning educator, and TEDx speaker. She is dedicated to human flourishing, focusing on community building, social-emotional learning, and honoring what makes each of us unique and dynamic through learner-driven design. She earned her degree in psychology and went on to earn both a post-graduate credential and a master's degree in education. An international keynote speaker, Lainie has presented in 41 states as well as in dozens of countries across 4 continents. As a consultant, Lainie’s client list ranges from Fortune 100 companies like Apple and Google to school districts and independent schools. Learn more at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠linktr.ee/lainierowell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Website - ⁠LainieRowell.com⁠

Twitter - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@LainieRowell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Instagram - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@LainieRowell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Evolving with Gratitude, the book is available ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ And now, Bold Gratitude: The Journal Designed for You and by You is available too!

Both Evolving with Gratitude & Bold Gratitude have generous bulk pricing for purchasing 10+ copies delivered to the same location.🙌

📚➡️ ⁠hbit.ly/ewgbulkdiscount⁠

📚➡️ ⁠bit.ly/bgbulkdiscount⁠

Just fill out the forms linked above and someone will get back to you ASAP! 

Transcript:

Lainie Rowell: [00:00:00] Welcome to the pod, friends. I have with me someone who I have been waiting and waiting to have on the podcast. The stars finally aligned and I get to have Erika Sandstrom here with us. Welcome, Erika.

Erika Sandstrom: Thank you so much. I just love you. I love your work and all of this gratitude going out to the world because of you.

So huge fan. I'm fangirling.

Lainie Rowell: I'm fangirling. Alright, Erika, I'm going to do a quick introduction and then I want you to jump in. Erika Sandstrom is a digital learning coach, digital media teacher, Friends, if you were looking at her right now, you would not believe this. She's been in education 32 years.

She looks fresh out of the teacher prep program. This is a glowing fresh face. If you're not familiar with her name, you might be familiar with her as the green screen gal, because that is how I came to know you. I did see your actual name, but that's such a catchy nickname. How do you not catch on to that, right? So.

Erika Sandstrom: Yeah. Well, I was dubbed that by a digital learning coach right before COVID because I was just obsessed with the green screen and creative media, but it is true. People do know me as green screen gal. They don't know Erika. It's really funny.

I mean, so I just go with it, you know, whatever, but it, it has stuck.

Lainie Rowell: I think it's worth sticking and Erika, you just mentioned creative media is what a lot of people know you for. They might know you for mindfulness. Obviously the green screen gal comes from your work with green screens.

And you also have an upcoming book, which I'm excited. I'm hoping you'll tell us a little bit more about that. But first, just, you know, what else do people need to know about you?

Erika Sandstrom: Oh, goodness. You know I think what I am known for is the mindfulness being weaved into the green screen and video production, but I guess right now I really want folks to know more about these breathing bubbles that I'm creating and I can share that at the end.

Lainie Rowell: We're going to make plenty of time for that. I'm just So impressed with what you do, and I don't think I'm going to explain it well, but yes, people do know you for the mindfulness, for the creative media, the way that you have brought the two together is so beautiful, so engaging, so creative, and I just love it, and I really do want to get to all that you're doing, and the type A personality in me is like, make sure to ask her the first question or I might not get to it. So I'm going to...

Erika Sandstrom: Oh my gosh, are you kidding me? I'm just sitting here listening to you going, I'm going to call you every day because I really need to hear that, you know?

Lainie Rowell: Affirmations from Lainie every day. You've got it.

Erika Sandstrom: I love it.

Lainie Rowell: All right. So my friends, let's kick us off with what does gratitude mean to you?

Erika Sandstrom: How much time do you have? I truly believe in my heart and soul that gratitude is a magic potion and a magnet to a happy and fulfilling life.

It really is the key to, to everything and I'll explain why I believe that, but it's just, it's a science, it's a practice, it's powerful, and there's so much more that people don't even realize, I think, and I'm a yoga instructor many, many years now, and so a lot of that, the energy talk I'm going to bring up is from that and the experiences I've had in my own life.

Gratitude has literally changed my life, so. It is a magnet. Do you want me to keep going?

Lainie Rowell: I do. The floor is yours and I love that magic potion and a magnet. I'm all ears. I'm leaning in. I'm ready. Go.

Erika Sandstrom: Okay. Saddle up. Here we go. Well for me, I think a lot of it started with Oprah Winfrey.

You know, she's like the queen of gratitude and Deepak and us as humans, we're always in this state of, I'll be happy when, dot, dot, dot. And I'm guilty of that. We're all guilty of that. And when you catch yourself in that, that's when you've got to remind yourself to practice gratitude.

But the way Oprah explains it is so Beautiful. You can just Google Oprah gratitude and she's wearing a red dress. It's the best video. And she talks about what gratitude truly is. And there are three types of gratitude. Usually when you ask someone, what are you grateful for?

They say, Oh, my family, my friends, my home, my clothes. And those things are deep gratitudes. That we have all the time. And then there's past happenings, but the most important ones are the present happenings. And what I mean by that is that, you know, Oprah in her, in her video, so funny, she's like, I keep my gratitude journal every day.

And I write five things at the end of the day that there's power in the words, there's power in writing them. Personally, I use an app because I love my technology. And she'll say that, you know, there's certain days that you just can't stop talking and there's other days it's like, okay, I just saw a squirrel.

Great. That was cute. It might not be anything else today. You know, I had a good cup of coffee. So Oprah explains, and I love your nodding because you know all this that gratitude is a practice throughout the day. If you focus on what you don't have, you'll never, ever, ever, ever have enough.

And if you focus on what you do have more will come.

Lainie Rowell: So, I'm nodding because I know that Oprah video, I almost have it memorized and . It's so, so I believe that video was shot 2017. Oh, maybe even 2012. It was like a long time ago. It was old.

That video is old. And at the time of that video, she had already been journaling. Mm-hmm. for. Years and years. Yeah. And one of the things she says in that video that I found so profound is she says, I believe this is the most important thing I've done in my life. And I think when someone who has lived the life that Oprah Winfrey has lived, the trials, the tribulations, and the successes, If that's something that after all of these experiences, you can say that, that's something I need to pay attention to.

Erika Sandstrom: Absolutely. I say that too. I'm like, look at her house, folks. It's not just about that though. It's about, she's a true light worker. She's living her dream and she did not come from anything good. She came from some sad times. And I just have a lot of respect for her understanding how energy works.

And that's the part that's fun to prove to people is this isn't just, okay, I'm grateful and I'm just going to write it down and feel good about myself. No, this is science. You are changing your brain. You are changing your hormone levels. I mean, with middle school. It's great. I'm helping them balance their hormones by practicing gratitude.

It's that powerful. And I know, you know, this you know, energy flows where the mind goes and you know what she says in there? She says, Grace is a direct response to gratitude. The more grateful you are, the more grace steps into your life and mirrors your gratitude. And I know that once I started my gratitude journal, It's true.

My family, sometimes I drive them crazy because I'm always, you know, gratitude helps you look for solutions instead of worrying about the problem all the time. And sometimes they just want to vent. So I have learned that let people vent and then try to change the energy and help them be grateful for the, for the blessings.

So you have to be careful.

Lainie Rowell: Well you're very generous that you keep saying like, that I know these things. And to some extent I do, but hearing them through your lens, hearing it the way you're sharing it, is new to me and it's so special to me to get to hear how you see this in your life, in the lives of those around you.

From your, family to the, the kiddos that you get to work with. And that's why I think I keep staying in this topic. It's not just because it's deep and you could devote your whole life to it and never ever come to the end of it. It's also just seeing it through other people is really beautiful.

And I, I love that. It's always about like, what is it for you and what is it in your life?

Erika Sandstrom: And it's so interesting, especially when you talk about people internationally and how, you know, we say thank you here, but in other cultures, that's when it gets really fun.

I'm sure you you know, have interviewed people from other countries and it's different and it's different everywhere you go, how they practice gratitude. And I, I find it as fascinating as you do. Yeah,

Lainie Rowell: There's so many things that go into what forms our relationship with gratitude.

Erika Sandstrom: So many layers.

Lainie Rowell: I appreciate you bringing up the, the cultural aspect and that yes, in some places saying thank you would be considered an insult because it's like well, of course I'm going to do this. I'm a good person. You saying thank you implies this wouldn't be my natural reaction or my natural intention.

So it's, it is interesting but the culture is just one, one thing too. So there's so much that goes into it.

Erika Sandstrom: There's so much and my favorite part about it all is proving that energy is real and what we put out will come back to us. Good and bad. Ripples of energy. And, you know one of my favorite things I've ever read is that gratitude unshackles us from toxic emotions.

And that's where I get into Abraham Hicks and I teach the kids about the energy scale of, you know, the highest vibrational energy is joy. You know, joy is so high up here and, and then the lowest is shame, guilt. and you know, Deep Depression and all the other emotions in between. And if anybody studies Abraham Hicks and the emotional scale, you, you can't jump from despair to joy.

You have to learn to go up the scale. You're only supposed to jump a couple things. So I told my kids, I'm like, okay, if you're really in despair right now, think of something that makes you really angry. Cause that's a higher vibration of what you're putting out. Anger is not always a bad thing. You get it out and it just depends on how you get it out, but gratitude can help you focus on what's going right and not what's going wrong because every day, most days something will go right.

And like I said, it could be, I saw a squirrel and it was cute. It was that kind of day.

Lainie Rowell: I love that you're bringing up. It is not about dismissing emotions that we would consider unpleasant. It's not about ignoring them or even necessarily trying to shift out of them at a rate that's not realistic. But we do want to have the full human experience.

This is something I always want to make sure people know that I'm not saying gratitude for happiness because we should only be happy. You know, we do want that. But you talking about this emotional regulation, where, Okay, I'm here, and I need to not be here for any longer. I've been here long enough.

Now I'm going to shift to anger. That's a better place for me to be right now, and I can get there.

Erika Sandstrom: This is all from personal experience, you know, I'm an A D H D woman.

Very proud of it. I think it's a gift, but, just, things I've gone through in my life. Like sometimes if you're crying, I just look in the mirror. 'cause an ugly cry always makes me laugh. Or you can just watch a cat gif or something, something that'll make you laugh.

So there's ways to get out of this despair faster, but gratitude is huge and another thing I tell my students how energy works is that. And I was guilty of this too. Be happy for others who have what you want or what you desire in life. You know, maybe for adults, someone who has children and you want that.

If you want to bring the energy into your life, be happy for them. Be truly happy for somebody having something you want and watch it come to you too. Otherwise you're blocking yourself. And the only way I can truly prove energy to people besides the energy scale is I do a trick with a battery.

I have the kids, this is so cool, it's more visual but I'll try to explain it. You have the kids stand with their arms down, I do this with adults too, where you're just relaxed and your feet are a little bit apart, your knees are not locked, you're just standing there and you take a deep breath and then I tell them to focus on their heart and think of something they love and they start to sway forward and then I do the opposite, think of something you hate and it could be sadly a person but it could also be like peas.

You know, I hate those things. And then you'll start to flow backwards. And then like, why am I moving? So then I give them a battery in their hands and I tell them they don't have to do anything. Just stand there. And when the battery, and this really works when the battery is facing with a positive, it pulls your body forward.

And when you flip the battery over, it goes back and , it's fascinating. And within this lesson, even if not everybody flows because some people won't let go or they'll lean lean on their leg the kids are, they buy in. They're like, Oh my gosh, she's right. This is, why did I, why did I sway? It freaks them out every time.

It's important for kids to understand whatever way you want to teach about energy that It's real and it affects us and it affects your body and that's where mindfulness comes in.

Lainie Rowell: Well, I do wanna get to, and I'm gonna give you latitude because I just wanna hear whatever you wanna share. And so feel free to talk about breathing bubbles.

Feel free to talk about any mindfulness practices, any gratitude practices. Girl, I'm giving you free reign.

Erika Sandstrom: Oh my god, you're so cute.

Lainie Rowell: Because 30 minutes goes fast, so I want to make sure we get in.

Erika Sandstrom: Okay. So things that I do in my classroom right now for gratitude and or even in my life personally, I use the Thankful app, but there's a lot of gratitude apps out there. And the reason I love this one. is maybe because I'm lazy, but you can put a picture. So I look through my pictures from the day.

It pings at me at 9 p. m. every night and I look for pictures. I put a picture in and then I just list as many things as I can think of. And there are days where it's a cup of coffee, squirrel, I made it to work on time and other days I can't stop. And it's great to look back on. It takes me 60 seconds to do this.

There's no reason not to. And I'm so glad that I kept doing it. But with my students, I teach them about gratitude for themselves and for others. It's not just thinking about yourself, it's thinking about others too and how you can help them. But we do an attendance form every morning.

I put gratitude on there, it's usually like in the morning, I always get, I had a great pop tart in the afternoon it's like, day's almost over. We make gratitude videos. WeVideo, Canva, all the, you know, Adobe Express. On the green screen, we do this thing at Thanksgiving with.

turkey feathers. The kids become feathers. They pop up behind a turkey with what they're grateful for and we do that every year and that's a fun project. One that we keep ongoing is called the ABCs of Gratitude. So whenever the kids think of something that starts with an A, it goes up on the list and we do it all year and it gets really funny.

Also with MISBA for Wakelet, we did a mindfulness series and I did a whole series on gratitude there. So that's a fun video to watch. Those are some of the things that I do for, for gratitude. And I truly believe that one way to help your day, especially with Abraham Hicks, and that is if you start off your day very low, you fight the whole day.

to be happy or to find joy in your day. And most of us do that. So I've tried this is a Gabby Bernstein thing. I love her. She's a good person to follow. Before your feet hit the floor every AM, name one thing in your mind or out loud that you're grateful for and one thing you're proud of yourself for before you even put your feet on the floor.

So you can start in a space of gratitude or at least try to, because gratitude makes sense of the past, it brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. That's a good quote by Melody Beattie.

Lainie Rowell: I love that Melody Beattie quote. That is actually the last quote I have in the Bold Gratitude Journal because I feel like it really encompasses this past, present, and future.

And of all those, I think present is the hardest. I've said that before.

Erika Sandstrom: Present is the hardest, but that's where you use mindfulness. Use your five senses and bring yourself back. And I do it all day long. But speaking of that, I was saying to you off, off the air that I feel like you sharing gratitude and this magic that people have right in their back pocket.

And I'm sharing breathing exercises and deep breathing. Those two things could literally save people across the world because they're both very easy to practice and they just keep you present.

What my students and I have created, it's called #MyBreathingBubble.

And we have figured out how to create a breathing bubble that is an inhale for three, hold for three, exhale for three, hold for three, one minute exercise where I've always watched the one in the calm app, it was just a pretty bubble. And I said, wouldn't it be cool if we could put something personal inside that bubble, like a picture of my cat or a vacation I went on or something that brings you joy or brings you peace.

A lot of kids will put a basketball for their bubble because they love basketball. And so just watching what the kids create is so cool. And having them create these bubbles, they're actually practicing the breathing and the timing. So I'm watching kids like slump in their chairs and realizing how much it works.

The breathing bubbles are powerful. We're learning how to do them in every program right now. The course is free and it will have the Canva bubble in it. Which I'm going to be presenting as well soon with Canva. And we have Keynote, DeWink, oh my gosh, Adobe Express. And they're all different. Flip, all of them. Genely. That one's an actual bubble. And I have a free course right now under bit.ly/mybreathingbubblecourse.

Lainie Rowell: So you are doing. So, so, so much in your classroom, obviously, with those around you, personally, professionally. So what's the book going to be? I want to hear a little bit about the book.

Erika Sandstrom: Oh, thanks for asking. It's called Cultivate Compassion Through Creativity. I don't have a tagline yet, but it is about greed screen and creative media, but in mindfulness, all being tied into one.

So basically it's all of my lessons, but it's also a book on mindfulness and shared stories from me and from others. It's a great way to cultivate lots of things because each chapter says, cultivate kindness through creativity. Cultivate empathy through creativity, cultivate equity through creativity, cultivate gratitude through creativity.

I'm very grateful for Amanda Fox for, for bringing me in now with teacher goals to create this book. So I'm thrilled.

Lainie Rowell: That's so exciting. 2024. Right?

Erika Sandstrom: Well, yes. 2024. You know, as soon as Erika gets her schedule in to keep writing. I've never written a book before, so this is, this is quite an experience.

Wow.

Lainie Rowell: It's going to be amazing and I cannot wait to read it. And I think it's so interesting. I think we're in this very interesting time and I have kids who they're both preteens at the moment and I'm very aware of how media can positively or negatively impact them. And so I love that you're putting so much of your energy into finding these ways to engage with what resonates with kids, which is the media and do it in such positive ways and not just consuming it, but actually creating it too. It's just so lovely.

Erika Sandstrom: Creating it. And they come from a space of teaching others about it. So that's, that's, what's really powerful is these kids are really practicing it.

And I always tell this story, but it's. We did a video once with, I have a mindful superhero club as well, it's all about the green screen of mindfulness. And we had the kids do one on put your brakes on that negative self talk. So they did this whole skit where this girl dropped her book.

She freaked out and they come around in their green capes, which are full of green screen, smiley faces and stuff in them. And, they tell her to put those brakes on that negative self talk and it's, it's a cute video, but the point is that I heard in the hallway by the lockers, kids saying that to each other that weren't even in my class.

Put your brakes on that negative self talk to their friends. And that's when your heart explodes. So that's, that's what made me really go forward with this because, you know, these fun things are really fun to make, but it's the lesson behind it and the building up to it of what kindness truly is.

And then, then we'll go jump in the word kindness and do our Zach King tricks and all that stuff. Yeah.

Lainie Rowell: I'm really glad that you pointed out that it's also teaching others because there's consuming it. There's creating it, and then there's actually helping others to create too, which is like the highest level of that, and that's just so powerful, and obviously it's having ripple effects when you're hearing, not even kids from your own class that are saying the things that you're teaching, that's That's like, that's a Gooseys moment, right?

Heart Explodes. I love it. I heard you say that. That's so, so good.

Erika Sandstrom: Yeah, it gave me Gooseys for sure. Oh my goodness. It does every day. The kids just blow your mind with, and they love the gratitude stuff too.

Lainie Rowell: Well, okay. This is where I always get bummed that it's a short podcast and I know you have so much more.

So I'm just going to give you a last chance for any tips that you want to share with folks before we get to your shout outs.

Erika Sandstrom: I just encourage people to start journaling. Just grab a journal, even if you do a gratitude app. And just try it. You can even, you can even put pictures. It doesn't matter. And, and the thing about gratitude is it, it even works when you don't share it.

You know, it changes your brain chemistry. It's amazing. So try it as a practice throughout the day. What just happened today?

Lainie Rowell: And I really appreciate, I try to give this permission to myself and to others, of course, too, and I hear you giving it too, is that I think sometimes when people hear gratitude journaling, they think of very traditional paper to pen, but what I try and advocate for, and I hear you advocating for it too, is It can be photo, video, audio.

It could be a drawing. It could be whatever you want it to be. Traditional, using media, and newer tools. It's really just about getting those ideas in a concrete form. So then you really do, you know, one of my favorite words, savor it. And so...

Erika Sandstrom: I love that. I love that.

Lainie Rowell: You gotta savor the gratitude.

It's not redundant. You do savor the gratitude.

Erika Sandstrom: True. And, and honestly, the only way to change your brain and to change your thought process is to do something like this. And it's so easy. Like 60 seconds, but it's fun too. Cause then, then you start your day looking for things. Sometimes you're like, Oh, I'm going to write that down tonight.

It's really been great for me and I just handle things so much better in my life because. I literally have changed the way I look at the world. That sounds really deep, but...

Lainie Rowell: People get it because when you know, you know, I think that's, I think that's how it is. So I.

Really know there's so much more that there is to catch up with you. We're going to share your socials and how to get in touch with you in just a minute. But first, let's get to your shout out.

Erika Sandstrom: Oh gosh, of course I have too many. Can I rattle off? Amanda Fox, I mentioned. Barbara Bray. She's powerful. I'm in her new book and she's always supportive of, she's telling my whole story.

I love her. Taisha Rowe from EdTech Magazine. She put me on the cover of EdTech for the breathing bubbles and everything else. And I just love her. And she's just a wonderful human being. Cat Couchy for the Rise EDU Magazine. That girl is doing so much. And I love being a Canvassator, Barbara Roy, and the ladies from DeWink, I'll stop there.

Melinda and Karen have gone above and beyond to help me in my personal life and my professional life, and I just cannot be more grateful for them. And for you, Miss Lainie Rowell, for sharing the beautiful, beautiful gift of gratitude.

Lainie Rowell: You are so kind, my friend. And we have so many friends in common. I want to add , not to discount any of the other names that you dropped, but I do want to give a shout out to Barbara Bray.

She has been a inspiration in my life as well, and known her for many, many years. Yeah. actually got the chance to listen to you on her podcast. And so if people haven't had a chance to listen to that episode, they should go check that out because both Barbara and Erika are tremendous. And so you should check them out.

Erika Sandstrom: Oh, thank you so much. I just love her. She's awesome.

Lainie Rowell: All right, my friend, how can they catch you online? What's the best way to reach you?

Erika Sandstrom: Honestly, if you Google green screen gal, you'll probably find all my socials, but @greenscreengal and on Twitter or X, I can't say it or #greenscreengal44 on Instagram.

I'm on TikTok now. I'm trying all that. And GreenScreenGal.Com. I haven't run it yet this year, but I run the Green Screen Summit with 30 presenters. It's called Not Just a Green Screen Summit. And yeah, I think that's the best way to find me.

Lainie Rowell: All right, friends. So you know how to find Erika. AKA GreenScreenGal.

She's amazing. A great, great person. Connect with her because she's awesome. And with that, I'm going to say, Erika, thank you for your time and thank you all for listening.

Erika Sandstrom: Thank you. Namaste, girl.

Lainie Rowell: Namaste.

Episode 72 - Thrive Through the Five with Guest Jill Siler

Shownotes:

Get ready to dive into a whirlwind of inspiration and gratitude! In this episode, I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with the incredible Jill Siler, an expert in thriving through life's challenges. We explore the unexpected power of gratitude in tough moments, the art of being present in the now, and practical strategies for expressing appreciation daily. Plus, Jill shares a fantastic shoutout to someone who's been a game-changer in her journey. It's time to thrive through every moment, and this episode is your guide to making it happen! #ThriveWithGratitude

Jill and I love Compendium ThoughtFulls. (Not a paid endorsement!🤣)

About Our Guest:

Dr. Jill Siler served as a Superintendent of Gunter for nearly ten years and now serves as the Deputy Executive Director for Professional Learning for the Texas Association of School Administrators (TASA). Jill’s first book, Thrive Through the Five, was released in 2020, and focuses on how to thrive through the most challenging seasons.

Website: jillmsiler.com

Twitter: @jillmsiler
Instagram: @jillmsiler

About Lainie:

Lainie Rowell is a bestselling author, award-winning educator, and TEDx speaker. She is dedicated to human flourishing, focusing on community building, social-emotional learning, and honoring what makes each of us unique and dynamic through learner-driven design. She earned her degree in psychology and went on to earn both a post-graduate credential and a master's degree in education. An international keynote speaker, Lainie has presented in 41 states as well as in dozens of countries across 4 continents. As a consultant, Lainie’s client list ranges from Fortune 100 companies like Apple and Google to school districts and independent schools. Learn more at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠linktr.ee/lainierowell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Website - ⁠LainieRowell.com⁠

Twitter - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@LainieRowell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Instagram - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@LainieRowell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Evolving with Gratitude, the book is available ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ And now, Bold Gratitude: The Journal Designed for You and by You is available too!

Both Evolving with Gratitude & Bold Gratitude have generous bulk pricing for purchasing 10+ copies delivered to the same location.🙌

📚➡️ ⁠hbit.ly/ewgbulkdiscount⁠

📚➡️ ⁠bit.ly/bgbulkdiscount⁠

Just fill out the forms linked above and someone will get back to you ASAP! 

Transcript:

Lainie Rowell: [00:00:00] Welcome, friends. Well, this is me again using the podcast because I want to talk to someone. And so you're lucky because she is so amazing. And I'm going to go ahead and just really quickly say hi and then I'll introduce her. But hello, Jill. How are you today?

Jill Siler: I am fantastic and it is great to be with you.

Lainie Rowell: Well, thank you. So Dr. Jill Siler is just a tremendous, wonderful human being that I, I kind of just swoon from afar as I see the incredible work that she's doing. And I'm going to tell you a little bit of her bio, and then I'm going to ask her to enhance with all the other wonderful things she's doing.

So Dr. Siler has served as the superintendent of Gunter for nearly 10 years. Her current position is the deputy executive director for professional learning for the Texas Association of School Administrators, TASA. Now, one of the ways that I have connected with Jill is through her book Thrive Through the Five, which released in 2020, is incredibly relevant at any time that you get to come across this beautiful thing I've got a five star review on Amazon talking about it.

Jill Siler: Thank you!

Lainie Rowell: That is my love language because when you put your heart out there like you so beautifully did, I always want people to know how much I appreciate it. And there's so much inspiration, so many beautiful strategies in there.

And just the way that you carry yourself with grace and confidence and then also help us thrive and Flourish is just really lovely. So Jill, that's just a little bit about you more, more from you, please.

Jill Siler: Yeah, no, thank you for the lovely introduction. And it's great to be with you today. I'm talking about a subject that is so important in this work that we do as leaders, but even more important in our work of just being human beings and being good to one another.

And so I've loved every role that I've had in education. I've served in public ed for 25 years and now get to lead leaders across the state in Texas. And of course, with my book, get to impact leaders across the nation too. And that has been a true privilege. So it's great to be with you today.

Lainie Rowell: Well, thank you.

And you are a keynote speaker. I want to make sure you get that in there because people should have you out just saying.

Jill Siler: I am. And I've had a great privilege to keynote all over the country. It's been wonderful.

Lainie Rowell: It is a joy and I've heard you speak and you're just such an impassioned, insightful person.

You bring so much and I'm gonna not do a graceful segue, but I am going to segue to our first question and just ask you, no right or wrong answer. You know, what does gratitude mean to you, Jill?

Jill Siler: So, I think gratitude, to me, is just that constant need to share our appreciation for others. And I'll tell you, Lainie, like, this has been a journey for me.

I am a Type A personality. Like, I want to get things done. Like, spreadsheets are my love language. I'm a solid Enneagram 3. And so moving into this realm of leadership, I was really good at that task aspect of the job. And it really took some time for gracious people to pour into me to really help me understand that this work that we do as leaders is about people.

And even if we're not that necessarily touchy feely out there all the time. Like that's our personality that there are things that we can hone in on to be really good at valuing and supporting people. And gratitude is one of them. And so for me it was things like when I walked into my superintendency there was so much to do and, you know, you walk down halls and meet people and, and all of those things.

And in your mind, you're like selecting that to do list. Okay, we need to do this. We need to support this person. We need to order these resources, whatever that might be. And just getting to a place where you realize, okay, so gratitude is so important. So how do we do that in this busy work that we have as leaders?

And so for me, I've really approached it in my type a kind of personality, like what structure systems and processes can we put into place to then authentically share our gratitude with one another. And I know that that sounds kind of like an oxymoron, but for me, it's kind of like, if it's not on your schedule, it's not going to happen if it's not on your calendar.

And so it was, how do we strategically do that? So for me, it was things like walking out of a campus and stopping for a moment and I would keep a spiral notepad at my desk and just write down the list of names of people who I wanted to touch base with and share my appreciation with them. I didn't have the time at that moment to do it, but I would take time on Friday afternoon to be really specific in sharing that gratitude.

So I think finding ways to, to in whatever way that it works for you to make that happen is so important because. It's critical for us as people, as humans and as leaders.

Lainie Rowell: I couldn't agree more. So let me just tell you all the ways that I was just completely on board with you because I am a type A, task collector, task master kind of person.

And so I had to be coached up and I love that you said people were graciously pouring into you, teaching you kind of this way because... I can even think of times where like, I would start an email and then I would send it to a mentor and I'd be like, how does this email sound?

And they'd be like yeah, it's great. You're coming in kind of hot. Could you have some sort of opening to express gratitude or just something to kind of make a connection to the person before you go straight to business? And I'm like, oh, that's an interesting strategy. Luckily, I've met this person very early on in my career and have hopefully managed to do that but to this day, I still have to take a beat before I hit send and go, how's my tone? Am I just task mastering this or am I pouring into this person that I value them and I appreciate them?

Jill Siler: So I take exactly what you just said to like next level in that I write every email in that tone, in that, like I put down all of the facts, everything.

And the very last thing before I do before I hit send is go back to the top and rewrite my beginning, because, and I don't even force myself to start there because it's just not my innate personality, like, let me just get the work out and what needs to be done, but before I hit send, inevitably, I will go back to the beginning and rewrite the beginning to make sure that I'm expressing, like, by the way, hi, like, a greeting of some sort, and then some sort of just word of specific, intentional valuing of whoever it is that I'm writing to.

Lainie Rowell: Thank you for making me feel seen, heard.

Jill Siler: I was sharing with you before the show that I was just a little anxious about coming on because A, this is your body of work. Like you've done such good work on how to Honor Gratitude, How to Bring the Practice of Gratitude to Life with Students, with Leaders, all of those things, and this is not my area of forte, but I also took a minute because I know that I've heard really good words around this, and I was pulling back an interview that I had read with Brene Brown, and of course I love her work, but she talks about this, and it made me feel so much better because it kind of edified these things that we're talking about, that this whole notion of gratitude, that it's, it's more than just a feeling of being grateful, she says.

It's about developing an observable practice. So often we think that joy makes us grateful, but in reality, it's gratitude that brings us joy. And then just talking about, so how do we bring that to life? And so I'm glad that I'm not alone in finding ways to make that come to life, because it is a practice.

It doesn't just happen. It might be an emotion, but until we share that emotion, it does little to the people that we're engaging with.

Lainie Rowell: Yeah, I think it practice because it is an ongoing thing, right? And it's You know, sometimes weaponized in my own home that I wrote a book on gratitude, like, I'll do something and I'm reminded that I've, you know, written about gratitude and I'm supposed to be really good at this.

Doesn't mean I'm really good at it all the time. So, still work in progress. We write the books that we need to read, right?

Jill Siler: There you go.

Lainie Rowell: That's what I did.

Jill Siler: I love it. I love it.

Lainie Rowell: Speaking of Brene Brown, you got her to keynote your event.

Jill Siler: I did.

Lainie Rowell: Do you know someone? I need some intel.

Jill Siler: So it's funny because it was a process to get her. But in terms of the world of gratitude, I'll just share how that happened. Which was that we were very thoughtful and specific and strategic in how we went about approaching her team. Filling out the application, doing all of those things but like when I had an interview with her speaking team I know our viewers can't see this, but I have like a floor to ceiling bookcase behind me, and in all of my entries, I had included Brene Brown books, and then in addition, had written a really thoughtful letter about just the timing of education, specifically in Texas, and the word that our leaders needed to support our teachers in terms of being valued and heard given all of the political nature.

So really tried to speak to that. But then last I included a packet of the impact of Dr. Brene Brown's work on Texas educators. And I went through social media and I pulled every snapshot of every Twitter post, social media posts about teams doing a Brene Brown book study and whatnot and shared that with her just as a token of appreciation.

And so I think, in our work, it's those things that set true leaders apart from one another, not just that they do good work, but it's that level of thoughtfulness and just being strategic about things and being intentional. And so for me when we talk about how to do this practice of gratitude with one another, sometimes it's also modeling how that occurs.

And so I gathered up on my desk, a couple of things that our team has done in our professional learning events. But again, how do we model this practice of gratitude to others? And so every part of the design of one of our events maybe not like a major conference, but anything where it's small in Texas small is like 500 or smaller.

So anytime I have a crowd that's small, intimate like that we're always trying to find ways to build in affirmation and build in gratitude. And so a couple of things, and these are easy things that you can do on your own leadership team. But this one right here I took some of my favorite quotes around different characteristics.

This one is called the encourager quote, and it's a quote by Robin Sharmer . " Leave everyone you meet better than you found them. Become an encourager of potential versus a destroyer of confidence." And on the very top it says the word encourager. And then we have our people on the back write a specific note of gratitude to someone else and leave it for them throughout the conference.

Another great little tool I found was this one by Thoughtfuls. It was a company called Compendium, And they're called pop up cards and it has just a little word on top and you write a note on the back of gratitude and you share it with someone else and then they get to pop open this card and inside is a beautiful quote around that term.

I've used things like successory cards. I'm a huge Successories fan, if you were ever flying back in the 90s, and you saw the magazines, they always had big Successories ads, but it's words around motivation, encouragement, and have just provided these for attendees to allow that to happen. And then at our last staff retreat that we just had last week, one of my colleagues led an activity around affirmation, and he just brought in super simple canvas boards, and we just wrote in our name, And then as an entire staff we rotated and wrote words that we really thought of when we thought about that person and so my board is covered with words like inspirational, empowering, amazing, powerful, committed, and so just to hear and receive those words of affirmation and gratitude was a really powerful moment.

And so I say all that to say that our job is not only personally to share gratitude with one another, but sometimes our job is to model what that looks like for other people and setting up strategies and processes for that to actually happen. Cause when it happens, man, it's powerful.

Lainie Rowell: Oh my goodness. You were worried to come on this show.

You have so many concrete examples of great gratitude practices. And by the way, we're not making any money on this, but I have the Thoughtfuls too. I keep them in my wallet. They're just such the perfect little size and to be able to write something on the back. I love those. So Jill and I are not making any money on this, but I'll put a link in the show notes because it's easy to have them.

Jill Siler: And I'll tell you too, one cool thing that we did at our last one is that we actually had someone write the card to someone who had impacted their lives, and we had them Google, text, whatever to get the address, and they left them with us, and our organization mailed them to the people, and it was so neat to see the impact, like the trickle down impact that happened after that event, again by systemically finding a way to show appreciation and gratitude with others.

Lainie Rowell: I just got the goosies. And I love your approach to gratitude. That is being thoughtful to me. That is being considerate. That's a part of, I find this to be so important, I'm not going to leave it to chance or circumstance or in my case, my memory.

I am gonna make sure that these things are in place so that this happens no matter what. And so I love all of that. Those are great strategies now.

Jill Siler: Thank you.

Lainie Rowell: Now, as you've probably figured out, Jill, I am not a segue queen.

I don't do this transitioning gently, but I do want to make sure that before we run out of time, that we get to talk about your book. Can you tell people who have not had a chance to read, and by the way, that, that's not necessarily likely because a lot of people have read this book, but let's just assume that we have someone who maybe did not get a chance to read it yet.

2020 was a busy year. So, so if they didn't get a chance to catch it before now, what's, what's the book about?

Jill Siler: So I shared earlier that I love what I do, and I've loved every role I've had in education. I started as a paraprofessional, I was a classroom teacher and coach, a campus leader, a district leader, superintendent, and now I get to impact leaders across the state, and I love what I do.

But often, when you tell people that, they kind of come back with this notion, like the quote out there, right? If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. But the truth is, right, I love what I do and I've never worked harder than I have in this profession, and specifically in the past few years.

And I think that that is missing that just authentic truth of this work is really hard. In fact, being a teacher has never been harder. Being a leader in education has never been harder. As my association, we're the supporters of superintendents and on our group chat or on our Slack channels, whatever it might be, it's a constant news release, this superintendent has retired. This superintendent has stepped out and it's like, gosh, we're losing such good people. So I love this work that we get to do. It's such a privilege to work with young people, but I also know that it's hard. And so I wanted to write a book about how do you not just survive when things get tough.

Because if that's what we did, that would just not be living, right? So how do we do more than that? How do we truly thrive? And I think there's a lot of just, Merit that can come from talking about how do we be our best selves, not just at work, which is so critical 'cause our kids need that.

Our leaders need that, our teachers need that. But how do we also have a best self to come home with? And so that's really what the book is about, is just, you know, how do we approach things like when there's failure, how do we approach things like fear or when we're anxious or we're doubting, how do we approach it when the pressure is really hard really high, whether it's us putting it on ourselves or someone in the organization doing that.

How do we handle those situations and do more than just survive those moments? So that's what I got a chance to write about.

Lainie Rowell: I love that. And you get to speak about this, right? Getting a chance to go out and share? And, and what, can you tell me, I'm just being kind of an author nerd right now, because the book's been out for a while.

You've been, you've been able to talk about it. Like, what has maybe evolved for you since the launch of the book because its been a very interesting time in history. And I'm totally catching off guard with this question, so I can edit this out, that is no problem.

Jill Siler: No, I think the thing that has surprised me, you know, I really wanted to write a book. I just have had that that desire and that dream for a long time. I did not anticipate just the opportunity in speaking that would just avail itself to me.

And so I have worked with leadership groups. I've done convocations. I've done major conferences. I've worked with people outside of education. And so to be able to walk in and not just talk about specific strategies of how to thrive when things get really challenging. But to honor and value the fact that the work that we do is hard.

I think that that has been needing. And I think when a group gets someone in front of them who says like, I get it, this work is tough. Let's talk about it. And then talk about truly, you know, practical steps again of how do we move through that? I think that it is appreciated. So that's been the unexpected gift for me is being able to share with audiences and work with leaders and and just share a word of encouragement for our teachers too.

Lainie Rowell: And I love how you mentioned that you've actually been able to speak outside of education. And so this has been kind of an opportunity for growth for me, in that I recently became you'll appreciate the name, I recently became a contributor to Thrive Global, which is Ariana Huffington's community.

And so it's been really fun to take ideas that we value and promote in education and see how they actually apply in all sectors and not just professionally, but also personally. And so that's been a really fun journey for me and sounds like you're, you're getting a chance to do that too.

Jill Siler: Absolutely. And I think, you know, it really comes down to this work is also the work of just being a human and being a good human. And so that transcends every profession that we have and that's really what gratitude and leadership come down to.

Lainie Rowell: I love that. I want to make sure that I give you an opportunity...

do you have any other tips or suggestions for our listeners? It can be about gratitude specifically, but I want you to feel comfortable sharing... It could be from your book or just your work recently.

Jill Siler: Yeah, I think, you know, one of the things I've been mulling around, especially in the realm of gratitude is obviously, you know, it's easy to show gratitude in those moments that are fantastic.

When you're on that vacation with your family, when you've had this big achievement, like a book of yours coming out, whatever that looks like, it is so easy to find gratitude in those moments. But some of the most beautiful moments of gratitude for me have come from places that have not been those mountaintop kind of experiences.

I think back to early on in my superintendency and walked into just some financial crisis and had to really make some difficult decisions. And I was so surprised at the Gratitude that I had in that moment. Because you typically don't equate those two things. And I think that goes back to what, you know, Brene Brown talked about, right?

It's not just about feeling grateful. It's about developing that observable practice. But in that specific moment for me, it was kind of this feeling of, you know, I hate that I'm having to make these decisions for this community, but I'm so thankful to have the privilege to sit in the seat, to be able to guide some of these decisions for this group of people that I now love and call home which I still live at, you know, 10 years later.

And so for me, you know, I think about some of the systemic pieces that we've talked about, like how do you structure that in your day and make sure that you're able to share those words of affirmation with people. But I also, my personal challenge is to become Grateful on that moment to moment basis, you know, not just at the end of the Friday when you have time to write cards to people, not just maybe in a daily gratitude, but in those day to day moments of, you know, where am I just finding those moments to be grateful, especially in moments that you wouldn't necessarily think that that would be there. And so I don't know if that resonates with you and the research that you've done around gratitude, but that's been just a surprising thing for me that I've been thinking of through.

Lainie Rowell: Yeah, one of the themes that kind of keeps coming up for me with gratitude is this idea of, you know, gratitude for things in the past, gratitude for things in the present, and gratitude for things that we look forward to.

And it's just, to me, it's often hardest to be grateful in the present because I'm really focused on it.

Jill Siler: Yes, yes.

Lainie Rowell: So I think that's a really important practice because you're talking about in the moments, right? It's, we could always reflect on it later, but actually being present enough to be grateful in the moment.

That's a, that's a good skill. Love it. Alright my friend, anything else you want to share with the group before we get to the shoutout? The group, like we're all in the same room.

Jill Siler: I know. I know, no, I'm excited about this shoutout. I've been thinking about it quite a bit.

Lainie Rowell: Alright, let's get to the shoutout.

Jill Siler: So I think the question that you had for me was just who's someone that you are grateful for personally and professionally and that, I mean, there's so many, like, I just, like, the list is endless the people that I work with and the people that I live with and, you know, family and friends and all those things, but on this specific occasion, related to this specific topic, I think the person that I want to give thanks to is my current boss.

So Kevin Brown, who I would totally encourage you having a conversation with because I have learned so much from, and specifically around this topic of gratitude, is a constant source, not just of gratitude, but in the encouragement of giving gratitude on a just a And so some of the practices that he has shared with me have really impacted just who I am as a person.

And so he has been a huge influence for me just as a leader and as a human, but specifically around gratitude. I'm really thankful for what I've learned from him in that realm.

Lainie Rowell: Well, if you're recommending him, I will take you up on that recommendation. Maybe you'll introduce us.

Jill Siler: I would love to.

Lainie Rowell: Okay well that was a lovely shout out and hopefully he will get a chance to hear this and we will get to share this with an audience pretty quickly I think actually. I think this will go live on Tuesday because I have not like I don't have a huge bank right now because I've been busy all summer and I know you have too so.

Jill Siler: I hear ya.

Lainie Rowell: Well thank you for that shout out. Now let's make sure because people are going to want to connect with you if they're not already. What is the best way to reach you, Jill?

Jill Siler: So I am Jill M. Siler on all of the platforms. So my website is jillmSiler. com and then Twitter, Instagram, all of the things.

I'm Jill M. Siler.

Lainie Rowell: Jill M. Siler across the web. It does not get any easier than that, friends. She has made it so easy to access her and I love that. So do reach out to her, check out her website, connect with her on socials. I'll make sure all the links are in the show notes. And Well, Jill, this went too fast.

I'm really sad.

Jill Siler: Well, it has been a joy to just get a few minutes to chat with you. And thank you so much for the work that you're doing and for the practice with gratitude that you're sharing with the rest of the world.

Lainie Rowell: Thank you. And thank you all for listening.

Episode 71 - Pause, Ponder, and Persist with Julie Schmidt Hasson

Shownotes:

Get ready for a dynamic chat with the amazing Julie Schmidt Hasson! Dig into Julie's captivating work on reframing and navigating the twists and turns of education. Find out how teachers work their magic, turning roadblocks into opportunities and savoring those small yet mighty moments. This isn't your ordinary conversation; it's a thought-provoking conversation as we delve into the profound connections between gratitude, teaching, and personal growth! Plus Julie's golden nuggets of wisdom for bolstering resilience in seasoned educators.

About Our Guest:

Dr. Julie Hasson is a professor in School Administration at Appalachian State University. A former teacher and principal, she now teaches graduate courses in school leadership and conducts qualitative research in schools. Julie’s research on long term teacher impact is the foundation of her books, professional development programs, and TEDx Talk. She is the founder of the Chalk and Chances project and the co-host of the Lessons That Last podcast.

Website: chalkandchances.com

Latest Book: Pause, Ponder, and Persist in the Classroom

Twitter: @JulieSHasson
Instagram: @julieshasson

About Lainie:

Lainie Rowell is a bestselling author, award-winning educator, and TEDx speaker. She is dedicated to human flourishing, focusing on community building, social-emotional learning, and honoring what makes each of us unique and dynamic through learner-driven design. She earned her degree in psychology and went on to earn both a post-graduate credential and a master's degree in education. An international keynote speaker, Lainie has presented in 41 states as well as in dozens of countries across 4 continents. As a consultant, Lainie’s client list ranges from Fortune 100 companies like Apple and Google to school districts and independent schools. Learn more at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠linktr.ee/lainierowell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Website - ⁠LainieRowell.com⁠

Twitter - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@LainieRowell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Instagram - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@LainieRowell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Evolving with Gratitude, the book is available ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ And now, Bold Gratitude: The Journal Designed for You and by You is available too!

Both Evolving with Gratitude & Bold Gratitude have generous bulk pricing for purchasing 10+ copies delivered to the same location.🙌

📚➡️ ⁠hbit.ly/ewgbulkdiscount⁠

📚➡️ ⁠bit.ly/bgbulkdiscount⁠

Just fill out the forms linked above and someone will get back to you ASAP! 

Transcript:

Lainie Rowell: [00:00:00] Hello, my friends. I am so happy to share with you that we have Julie Hasson here. Welcome Julie.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Hi Lainie. I'm so excited. I've been looking forward to this.

Lainie Rowell: Well, me too. And you know, of course we have our friend in common, Sean Gaillard. He is always singing your praises and so I am just delighted to get to have this conversation with you today.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Oh, same. Thanks, Lainie.

Lainie Rowell: Well, I wanna give you a quick bio so people who may not have crossed your path, they know a little bit about you, and then I hope you'll jump in with all the extras. So, Dr. Julie Hasson is a professor in school administration at Appalachian State University. Did I say that correctly?

Julie Schmidt Hasson: It's Appalachian. It took me a long time to get that right. I get a redo on that one. You're good. You're in the majority with that pronunciation.

Lainie Rowell: Okay, I'm gonna try and get it right this time. Dr. Julie Hassen is a professor in school administration at Appalachian. Did I get it?

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Great. No, you were great.

Lainie Rowell: That was the second take, but I'm gonna roll with it 'cause I can't keep doing it.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: That was perfect.

Lainie Rowell: I'll take it. All right. So of course a former teacher, principal now doing graduate coursework and school leadership, and she's got a TEDx Talk.

She has done professional learning. Co-host of Lessons That Last podcast, and these are just scratching the surface. She's a beautiful author, such a wonderful writer. I recently read, Pause, Ponder, and Persist in the Classroom, How Teachers Turn Challenges into Opportunities for Impact and friends, I just absolutely love this book. Of course, there's a five star review on Amazon that you can go check out when you go to purchase the book. It's inspiring, it's practical, just loaded with these heartfelt stories.

It's like you take us on a journey. And that was really, really fun for me to go on that journey with you. So that's just like a glimpse into who Julie is. So please tell us more, Julie.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Oh, thanks Lainie, and I've been so excited to talk with you because our work intersects so beautifully. What you talk about with gratitude, I talk about with reframing and really we're talking about the same thing.

It's how the mindset we use and how we view the struggles that we are navigating, which are inevitable as educators, those challenges are going to come and it's about how we handle those challenges and turn them into beautiful opportunities. And I know both of us are about using gratitude in that process and savoring, so I'm.

Super excited for this conversation.

Lainie Rowell: Oh, yes. And I loved seeing savoring in your book. I came across that, that always gives me the chills.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Yay. Savoring. That is an intention of mine to do that more for sure, because it's such a busy time. We're talking beginning of the school year and it's so easy to just check, check, check the boxes, and go through the motions. And that savoring can make a big difference in how we feel at the end of the day.

Lainie Rowell: It really can.

Anything else you want our friends to know about you before we get into the convo?

Julie Schmidt Hasson: I think you captured it. I mean, I describe myself often as a teacher and a researcher, so I'm a pretty active researcher in my role.

I do qualitative research thanks to Brene Brown for helping people know what that means. We use the same approach, grounded theory, so most of my work is grounded in interviews with educators and observations of educators, but also the stories people tell about their really impactful teachers. So a researcher but not in the way you think, certainly not in a lab or using a lot of quantitative data.

It really is a very organic way of looking at teaching, so I'm excited to talk to you about that too.

Lainie Rowell: Yeah, and I think that's what makes your books so beautiful is the stories in them, is the qualitative research that you're doing and how that translates into telling the story of what's going on in classrooms and the magic that teachers are are putting out there.

So, my friend, I'm going to get you to the first question, and of course no right or wrong answer, but that first question is, what does gratitude mean to you?

Julie Schmidt Hasson: For me, it's not that gratitude takes away the struggle or even makes the struggle easier. But it helps me find the beauty in a struggle.

So right now my parents are in their mid eighties. They're both having some pretty big health challenges and the gratitude, I feel doesn't take away that reality. I mean that, that's hard. It's hard for them. It's hard for me. But what it does is now when they answer the phone, when I call, I don't take that for granted.

You know, or the, the opportunity to support them the way they've always supported me. I feel so grateful for that opportunity, but it came out of this struggle. So for me it's that reframing that you and I talk about that helps us look at a struggle and say, Okay, this, this is real and this is hard, but within it, it's some beauty and some opportunity and some grace.

Lainie Rowell: Yes, and there is sort of this bittersweetness that I think also is often associated with gratitude, even if we don't call it out explicitly. I hear you talking about the bittersweetness of you get to spend this time with your parents, but you also acknowledge that it is fleeting. And so that's something I struggle with too. We're in the same boat, my in-laws and my dad mid eighties and well, I should say a little earlier eighties because I don't want anyone to get mad at me if they're listening to this, but yes, they are getting older and I would like to believe that they would live to be a thousand.

Okay. But yeah, it's that bittersweetness of, okay, well that's really hard to, to grapple with, but I get this time with them. And so it goes, that kind of goes back to the savoring, right? When I do get to spend time, like I'm here with my in-laws in Oklahoma City while we're doing this interview, right? And so I take this little bit of time to do this interview while they're busy doing something else.

And then when we are together, I will savor that time.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: And really even for our friends and family members and the people we love who aren't in their mid eighties, we don't know how much time we have, and so we've got to practice that savoring and, and looking at the struggles as part of life.

I know you probably like me, are a fan of the Princess Bride movie and, and my favorite quote is when Wesley says to Princess Buttercup, life is pain Princess and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something. And I think it is, but within that hard stuff is the good stuff.

Lainie Rowell: Yeah. I'm literally reading the book Bittersweet by Susan Cain right now. I don't know if you've had a chance to read that, but it's it's a really good.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: It's on my stack behind me. I can't wait to talk to you about that. Yes.

Lainie Rowell: I really appreciate that you lead off when you're talking about this is what gratitude means to me.

That it isn't all just the, the really, really amazing, like everything's wonderful, perfect. It's, it's the little things. It's acknowledging that there's hard things along the way and it. Doesn't take the hard things away. But it does help us to focus, at least I'll speak for myself. It does help us to focus on the beauty and the little things that we get to enjoy while we get to enjoy them.

And I a hundred percent agree, we don't know how long we get with anyone. Right? So we we wanna appreciate that as much as possible.

Let's go into, and I'm so excited and I do hope you'll bring in whatever of your work. 'cause you have written multiple books and your research and your role.

How does gratitude look in your life? You can go personal, professional, whatever you want.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: So in my professional life, I've been on this research project post Covid to figure out how really impactful teachers navigate challenges in a way that they leverage those challenges in the classroom as opportunities.

Opportunities for teachable moments for kids, opportunities for their own growth. Opportunities just to take a difficult situation and look at that from an improvement lens. And in that work of reframing, a challenge as an opportunity. There's a pause where we kind of get a handle on our own emotions take a deep breath.

I think we really underestimate the power of a couple deep breaths, and then we just come from this place of curiosity. Where is this coming from? What is this about? Where are the opportunities hidden in this situation? And then we persist in those practices of coming back to a place of presence and peace.

Coming back to a curious stance. Looking for those opportunities, and I think your gratitude happens in the persistent part of pause, ponder, persist. It's that practice because all of those things are a practice. It's not, oh, I learned about gratitude and now I'm set. Now I've got it. It's a daily, sometimes probably multiple times a day practice.

And so I teach reframing now in most of my professional development, especially with beginning teachers who get thrown off course pretty easily when an unexpected challenge comes. So a student shouts out something that throws off your lesson or does something that's unexpected or surprising. Okay.

What do you do now? I. How do you respond in a way that's helpful and not an emotional reaction? That's unhelpful. And then how in that dance do you strengthen the relationship with that kid and strengthen your own skills in teaching? So right now, I'm really focused on reframing as a three step sort of framework, but gratitude is a big part of that.

Lainie Rowell: Absolutely. And as I've been kind of playing with this connection, so Dr. Andrea Hussong out of University of North Carolina and her crew, I don't know if you're familiar with her work.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Yes, they are not too far.

Lainie Rowell: I didn't wanna make the assumption that because they're geographically not far from you that you are BFFs, but I thought maybe you were...

Julie Schmidt Hasson: We keep an eye on our U N C friends.

Yes.

Lainie Rowell: So they have identified the four essential components of gratitude as notice, think, feel, and do. Mm-hmm. And I see a connection here to pause, ponder, persist. Am I way off in that connection or does that make sense to you too?

Julie Schmidt Hasson: It totally does, and the first time I read that work, I thought, oh my gosh, we're really coming at the same thing.

Maybe from different angles. I'm really in K 12 classrooms looking at this, but it's about being in the present moment. Because you can't notice. You've gotta pause and get in that space, not let your mind kind of catastrophize to the future, or pull in all the things you're still upset about from the past.

Be right there and take it all in. And then really be open-minded. And so I think we're both talking about getting in that same state so that then we can respond in a way that's helpful to us and more helpful to others.

Lainie Rowell: Absolutely. And you said a word that I respond to because catastrophize, that is something I am very, very good at, that I, it's.

So what you're nodding. So maybe, maybe you have experience with this too.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Absolutely. And I'll catastrophize about catastrophes that are not even my own business. So we have this beautiful, we live in the mountains on a river and downhill from us. Is the sweetest pumpkin farm and every October they've got the corn maze and pick your own pumpkins.

We've had a storm coming through, you know, the south this week, and I started worrying about what if the pumpkin farm floods and no one will have a pumpkin and the kids won't have the corn maze. And it was ridiculous Lainie like, why it's not my farm, not my pumpkins. Right.

A good sleepless night worried about the pumpkin farm.

Lainie Rowell: Like not my circus, not my monkey, whatever that saying is right? Yes, I, I totally agree. I think that's one of those things that we have to keep an eye on. I don't wanna project this onto you, but I think a lot of educators are empathic. They are looking through their student lens, the family's lens. And that's why, especially during pandemic, a lot of compassion fatigue. We see it and we wanna help. And we wanna prevent it, of course. Right? And so it's trying to find this, I feel like we keep coming back to almost this bittersweet of how can we see it, but not also take it on ourselves in a way, right?

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Yes. Yes. How can we have empathy yet still notice that we are separate. Right. There's been some really good research and I wish I could cite it for you, but my brain isn't gonna work that way right now out of medical care and nursing about empathy fatigue. Yeah. And how are we empathetic and caring about the people we're serving?

And at the same time, see us separate. Yeah, so that we are not emotionally exhausted and really physically and mentally exhausted at the end of the day. That's so true for our work as educators too.

Lainie Rowell: Yeah, because as we're pausing and pondering, we have to be able to persist and if we are fatigued, we struggle to do that.

I really appreciate everything you're sharing. What else are you thinking about it doesn't have to be specific to gratitude, but what else are you thinking about, especially as we're coming into this new school year and kind of where we are in the world? I just left that really wide open for you, didn't I?

Julie Schmidt Hasson: No, that's such a good question. I've been thinking a lot about... I work with beginning teachers quite a bit, so giving them the skills they need to navigate all of these challenges. But I'm really worried about our experienced teachers and their level of resilience, because they're the big ripple makers, right?

They're mentoring the newbies. They're making this impact on kids that goes beyond anything we could ever quantify or measure, and they're leaving. And it used to be that we might lose teachers in their first five years. They would decide this isn't the right profession for them, or we might have a few retire a little bit early, but these like 15, 20 year exceptional veterans leaving is something I've been really worried about.

So I've been kind of thinking about how my framework and my work could serve teacher resilience, and how can we help them keep making those ripples? I always wanna work on the question that's keeping me up at night. So beyond the pumpkin patch, what's keeping me up at night right now is that losing these veterans and what we could do to support them better.

Lainie Rowell: I hear you. When you're talking about those ripple effects, one of the challenges in education, this is no secret, is that we don't often see those ripple effects. And so when we take the time to, like you said, reframe, and we're really digging deep into like what's going on and really intentionally looking for the good.

And then actually sharing it rather than just keeping it to ourselves. So once we cultivate that culture, my hope is that these veteran teachers will feel the appreciation, will feel the gratitude, and that that helps sustain them, that that helps build up that resilience.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: I so agree, Lainie, and I think part of our problem is we've defined impact as the test scores that come at the end of the year, when really there are all of these signs of impact every day.

You know, the quiet kid who shares an answer or an idea in your class, that's a sign of a relationship you've built and an impact you've made. You know, we know we talk about the light bulb moment. That's a clear sign of impact. But even just those kids who are happy to see you, wanna tell you a story, wanna tell you a joke, write you a sweet little note or a picture.

All of those things are signs of impact. We just have to frame them that way.

Lainie Rowell: Hundred percent. And I do love that you brought up the quiet kid. So how do we model where we see all of our kids, because I do feel like that was one that really, speaking of those, those amazing, you know, 15, 20 year, these veteran teachers that we don't wanna lose.

One of them had shared with me, be really careful you don't miss those kids. Those kids that are doing the work kind of head down those kids sometimes don't hear their name at all in a school day. Right. 'cause they're just flying under the radar. And so that's one that I'm very intentional with, is trying to get to those kids that we don't hear. And it's really hard to know what's going on with them. We have the kids, the ones who are just so on it, those high performers, they're raising their hand. They're with you every minute of the lesson.

Yes. And then we've got some that we've talked about maybe a behavior, so we know something's probably going on with them. We need to check in with them. But that group that's just kind of head down, quiet. And it happens with educators too.

We have educators like that as well who are also head down and how do we see and acknowledge 'em? We want everyone to feel, you know, seen, heard, known, and valued.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Sure, and I think for me, I was that kid, so I tend to think about that. It really introverted, super shy, but hardworking.

And if I raised my hand and talked in a class, it was clear that was a class where I felt safe, where I was really engaged and for some reason just needed to share an idea and I can probably name the teachers in whose classes I did that often because they were so impactful and memorable.

So you're absolutely right. That's certainly a sign of impact and something for us to keep in mind.

Lainie Rowell: I love it. Could you tell us, 'cause I'm curious, is Safe, Seen, and Stretch is that your first book?

Julie Schmidt Hasson: I co-wrote a book with my principal mentor friend, Missy Leonard It was a Dave Burgess book. We loved that whole experience. It was, I wanna say 2017. So it's been a minute called Unmapped Potential. And it really was about letting go of limiting beliefs, which is still a foundational part of the work I do. And it was a foundational part of the work I did with Missy. So that was technically the first.

And then when I left my K 12 position and became a professor and had to have a research focus, my first grade teacher, Nancy Russell, who was forever the builder of the foundation for my academic life. As I've said, a highly anxious kid, dyslexic kid super quiet. She made me love reading, feel more confident.

I don't know that I would've been on the same trajectory without Nancy in first grade. She retired when I became a professor. So my research focus became how do teachers like Mrs. Russell make this lasting impact on our lives? What do they say? What do they do? So I started interviewing teachers about their impact.

Like you said, we don't know about our ripples, at least the long-term ripples unless we connect on social media or a student sends us a letter or reaches out. So I just set up, I got a sign from Office Depot that said, talk to me about a teacher you remember and set up at craft fairs and farmer's markets and flea markets.

And I think that project is over 600 stories now about people's favorite teachers. And the stories were so detailed, it was surprising, and they were small moments that people remember when, like you said, they felt seen. And so the book is Safe, Seen and Stretched because those are the themes that came out of all of those stories.

And then pandemic happened right after I finished that research and finished writing that book, then I shifted a little to the focus on navigating challenges. So how do those Mrs. Russells take a challenge in the classroom and turn it into an opportunity for impact?

Lainie Rowell: Well, I love it and, of course I make the connection to gratitude in all of your work, and so I really...

Julie Schmidt Hasson: and it's there. You're so right. It's foundational in all of it.

Lainie Rowell: Well, I so appreciate that you took the time to set up at those farmer's markets and to go and to collect all of these stories because that qualitative data is so rich and so valuable. It's not as necessarily easy to work with, as quantitative, I mean, kind of depending on who you are, but the quantitatives a little more cut and dry, right?

Julie Schmidt Hasson: It's true.

Lainie Rowell: I'm sorry, I'm just gonna kind of nerd out for a moment because I'm so fascinated.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Love that question. It is the most random in some ways. I took field notes for this one because I didn't wanna audio record participants.

I thought that might keep them from telling their stories in really authentic personal ways. So I got really good at quick field notes that didn't interfere with my connection with the storyteller, and then I just took all of those field notes and spread them out. I did it over time. So maybe I had 50 stories and I started, and then I would get initial themes that came out.

I would highlight the words people said and kind of start putting them in groups and categories. And as more stories came, I would see, okay, do these still fit, safe, seen, and stretched came pretty early as obvious themes, and I have not found a story yet in this data that doesn't fit in one of those or all of those.

So it is this crazy Jackson Pollock kind of spaghetti on the wall start, and then we begin to organize it and organize it. But the, the themes emerge from the data. So you don't go into this qualitative work, especially grounded theory, trying to prove or disprove some idea you have or some somebody else's hypothesis.

You really go in saying, I wanna explore this, and whatever emerges, emerges, which I love. But for researchers who don't like gray or messy or uncomfortable, it is probably not the best approach. It's great for me. I live in the gray. I love the messy, so yeah.

Lainie Rowell: Well, I just find it so fascinating because, like you said, you're not trying to prove a theory.

With Pause, Ponder, Persist, I felt like I was on this qualitative research journey with you, which was truly lovely to me because I am not a researcher and so I liked vicariously living through you.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Oh, thank you. I love writing narrative first person, which is so not a researcher way to write, but I'm a story collector and a storyteller, and so my approach to writing is, I'm gonna tell you this story of this research journey.

You are gonna learn along with me what I was learning as we went. And so I thank you for saying that. I hope it keeps people turning the page. Isn't that our fear as authors, like it's not just that people won't buy the book, but that people won't read the book. And I want you to keep reading to say like, where are we going next and what are we gonna find out next?

Lainie Rowell: Yes. And so I will reveal that it is unlikely to become rich selling education books, so we don't do it for the money.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: You're gonna kill someone's dream today.

Lainie Rowell: It's really not how you're gonna get rich unless you somehow make it onto the New York Times best seller list, in which case maybe that will work out for you.

But for most of us that are writing books, for other educators, we do it because we care about the message and it's what we've learned and we hope it helps other people. And so, yes, we don't just want you to get the book. We want you to read it and to see what of it you can glean to bring into your own practice.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: And then tell us what you thought of it.

Even if it's maybe not what we wanna hear or tell us what you used. Because otherwise you feel like you put it out there. And it doesn't live. But when someone says, I read it and I'm either struggling with this or I've used this, or you made me think about this. I know you feel that way too.

Yeah. It's so satisfying as a writer.

Lainie Rowell: Yes. Yes. And if you have constructive, feel free to DM rather than tweet.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Or maybe don't write that Amazon review,

Lainie Rowell: Hold off on that Amazon review. Those could really hurt. But, but no, I do wanna know, I mean, the challenging thing with the book is we can't really go back and change the book necessarily, but I do like to know, and I have had people do that where they've privately messaged I will say for, Evolving Learner, which is the first book, the subtitle, Learning from Kids, Peers, and the World.

And someone struggled with the choice of the word kids 'cause they were teaching adults. And I said, well, I'm sorry we wrote for K 12, but, it's good for me to think about, I will consider the use of that word. But I was very grateful that the person told that to me privately.

I've just now shared it with everyone, but it's fine. It's fine.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: I love the word kids Lainie 'cause, because for us in K 12, it's the point of everything. Like if we write something or we give professional development or we talk about something and we don't focus on kids and students, what's the point? So I, I'm team kid with you.

Lainie Rowell: Okay. Yay. Thank you. Well, I still do love that word because I do, I think you're saying the same thing. It does kind of ground me and remember they're little people still being shaped and it's our job to help them even if they're 17 years old, they're still a kid and I'll even hear college football coaches say they're still kids.

And I love that.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: I say it half the time about my doctoral students and I think my youngest one is probably in her thirties right now, and I will forever slip and call them kids because that's, Just the way you feel about your students, you're seeing them develop and grow. So no, you, you kid away.

Lainie Rowell: Okay. We're on same team. Cool, cool. Well, okay, so is there anything else that you would like to share about your work before we get into your shout out? 'cause I know 30 minutes goes by really, really fast, so

Julie Schmidt Hasson: It definitely does, and I think you've asked such good questions. I people have a handle on what I am interested in and do.

So really what I'm constantly wrestling with and I, I like the sort of metaphor of wrestling an octopus, like a big question about teaching that has all these arms and you're trying to just sort of make what's really abstract about our work more concrete and understandable. And for me as a researcher, my goal is to make it accessible.

I don't want it to just live in a academic journal where my mom and three colleagues read it. You know, I really want teachers be to be able to take the work and use it and let it change their practice. So thank you for asking those great questions.

Lainie Rowell: You're very generous. I just love picking your brain because the work you do is very fascinating to me. And so again, the qualitative and turning it into these beautiful stories that teach us, I think that's just such a gift.

Alright, that brings us to, I don't know if this is people's favorite part or least favorite part or somewhere in between, but who would you like to give a shout out to?

Julie Schmidt Hasson: My gratitude shout out today is going to be Laura Estes-Swilley, who has been my buddy since seventh grade.

So we've had a four decades friendship, like tight friendship. And who gets to do that, like have the same best bud for decades. But she's family at this point and she has been with me on this research journey. We were teachers together in the same district. She's high school. I've always been elementary, but we, we went on that road together. When I became a professor and started this research project, she as someone who continued to stay in the classroom, was such a supporter of the work, and she kept asking for a book, that was just the stories. For the mornings before she went out to hall duty, she said, I just need this to be part of my morning routine.

I want to open to a story, read a story every day, and let that inspire me for the day. And finally, last year I said, I will do it if you will help me. So I gave her 185 stories. We sort of culled through them all and picked them together and she wrote the reflections. So that book lessons that last is coming out in October.

And while we were working on the book, we would have these Zoom calls about the stories and we would kind of unpack the stories and that became the Lessons That Last podcast. Which probably feels like you're sitting between the two of us on a couch talking about these stories. But who gets to write a book and do a podcast with their best friend of 40 years, you know, I do.

And I am so grateful for her and so grateful for that journey. And any successful woman, I would say has some really great women friends standing behind them or maybe sometimes holding them up, and she is that for me.

Lainie Rowell: Oh, I love that. And I actually have listened to the show and it does feel like you're sitting on the couch.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Sometimes it's ridiculous, Lainie.

Lainie Rowell: Well, I think that's a beautiful shout out and I will be happy that she gets to hear this or I hope she'll get to hear it.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Oh, we will make sure she does.

Lainie Rowell: Wonderful. Okay, so that's something to look forward to. You said that's coming out when?

Julie Schmidt Hasson: The book is coming out in October, I wanna say October 11th.

Lessons That Last coming out soon. I know, I know. We are working on that launch plan and marketing plan. Now, after you write the book, there's still work to be done, so we're working on that. But the podcast is out now. It comes out on Sundays. Yeah. In case those Sunday scaries are getting to you and you need a little inspirational story.

Lainie Rowell: Yeah. I feel like we're crushing dreams here about books. Writing a book is actually only a certain part of it. I don't know. It feels like it's a lot more launching it and sharing it, but that's just me.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: No, we could do a whole podcast episode just about that, couldn't we? So friends who are aspiring writers call us.

We've lived and learned.

Lainie Rowell: Yeah. And we keep doing it. So , the other spoiler is, it's worth it, but it's different kinds of work than you might've anticipated, at least for me.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Exactly. Same.

Lainie Rowell: Well, I have truly enjoyed this time and I wanna make sure that people know how to connect with you.

I will put everything in the show notes, but Julie, just a real quick, what's the best way for people to connect with you and your work?

Julie Schmidt Hasson: I'm Julie S Hasson. So Schmidt is my maiden name. There's a Julie Hasson, who's a beautiful vegan chef. That's not me, that's a different one. So Julie S Hasson on all social media and the best way probably to get into my work, to access the stories is chalkandchances.com.

Lainie Rowell: Perfect. I will make sure all of that's in the show note. But chalkandchances.com is actually pretty easy to spell, so that's a good one.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: It's not hard. Yeah. When I had to name it, my now son-in-law, who's a marketing guy, said, what did Mrs. Russell use to change your life? And it turns out it was a lot of chalk and a lot of chances.

So there you go.

Lainie Rowell: How lovely is that? I'm glad we got that in there. That's a great thing to know because I kind of actually wondered where that came from.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: It all goes back to Nancy Russell. Yes.

Lainie Rowell: Lovely. Well, I appreciate your time so much, Julie, and it's been really great to connect with you and I will put all your contact information so people can connect with you.

Looking forward to the next book Lessons That Last coming out.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: You can pre-order friends.

Lainie Rowell: Well, Julie, thank you for your time and thank you all for listening.

Julie Schmidt Hasson: Thank you.

Episode 70 - An Anchor Point for Peace with Guest Bradley James Davies

Shownotes:

Join us in an enlightening episode as Bradley James Davies shares his profound perspective on leadership, gratitude, and personal growth. Prepare to be inspired by his transformative PEACE acronym—a daily mantra overflowing with wisdom. Plus Bradley shares practical advice on intentional practices and systems that provide invaluable guidance for leading more fulfilling lives and nurturing harmonious relationships. Seasoned leaders and aspiring ones alike will gain fresh perspectives on impactful leadership and intentional living after tuning in.

Bradley and I also trade quotes on expectations and here’s the one I couldn’t think of when we recorded:
“expectations are premeditated resentments”
After doing a little digging, I believe this is shared in AA and it appears to originate from a full quote:
“Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.”
― Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships

About Our Guest:

Celebrated school leader and former Oscar Mayer Wienermobile Driver, after a two-decade career in education that included teaching, coaching, and leading across all grade levels, Davies wrote School Leadership from A to Z: How to Lead Well Without Losing Your Way. It's a book about the ups, downs, and all-arounds of school life and leadership that seeks to help educators thrive through the challenges and stresses of school life and leadership.

Davies is the founder of Falkor, a leadership and life consultancy dedicated to helping clients live, love, and lead better.

Website: bradleyjamesdavies.com

@bradley.james.davies

About Lainie:

Lainie Rowell is an educator, international consultant, podcaster, and TEDx speaker. She is the lead author of ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Evolving Learner⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and a contributing author of ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Because of a Teacher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Her latest book, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Evolving with Gratitude⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, was just released. An experienced teacher and district leader, her expertise includes learner-driven design, community building, online/blended learning, and professional learning. Learn more at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠linktr.ee/lainierowell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Twitter - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@LainieRowell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Instagram - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@LainieRowell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Evolving with Gratitude, the book is available ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ And now, Bold Gratitude: The Journal Designed for You and by You is available too!

Both Evolving with Gratitude & Bold Gratitude have generous bulk pricing for purchasing 10+ copies delivered to the same location.🙌

📚➡️ ⁠hbit.ly/ewgbulkdiscount⁠

📚➡️ ⁠bit.ly/bgbulkdiscount⁠

Just fill out the forms linked above and someone will get back to you ASAP! 

Transcript:

Lainie Rowell: [00:00:00] Welcome, my friends. I am so excited to introduce you to Bradley James Davies, who you may already know, but if you don't, wanted to share with you that he's a celebrated school leader and he would like you to know he's a former Oscar Meyer Wienermobile driver. I can honestly say that that is the first time those words have ever come outta my mouth.

And he is also an author. He wrote School Leadership from A to Z, How to Lead Well Without Losing Your Way. And hopefully he'll share some more about that, but that is just scratching the surface. So Bradley, welcome. What else would you like us to know?

Bradley James Davies: Well, first of all, Lainie, thanks for having me on. I'm excited about our conversation.

Yeah, gosh, I am a proud Minnesotan son of a bricklayer dad and a bookworm mom. And after nearly 20 years serving schools, I decided to establish Falkor a life and leadership consultancy committed to helping leaders in all fields live better, lead better, and love better. Yes, way back when I did drive a 27 foot long hotdog all around the country.

Lainie Rowell: Well, Bradley, that is quite the story and I know there's a lot more to it.

And having been a principal at all levels, I mean so many years in education and I know in the last few months you've been on some of the podcasts. Our friends, Josh Stamper, Aspire to Lead and Darren Peppard's Road To Awesome.

So those are two of our friends that you've had a chance to have a conversation with, and I really encourage people, go check that out, because it was those both great episodes.

And I know you've been on a lot of podcasts. You've been doing a lot sharing your message. And I'm gonna go ahead and kick us off with the first question that we like to ask here on this podcast. And so, Bradley, what does gratitude mean to you?

Bradley James Davies: For me, gratitude is one of my anchor core life practices, and it is giving thanks for all things, both the good and the bad.

And of course, it's easy for all of us to give thanks for the good stuff. It's oftentimes beyond difficult to give and learn to give thanks for the bad stuff. So beyond gratitude as a feeling for me, it's, it's a discipline. It's a daily commitment. So I have my own personal process that we can get into where I anchor my day in gratitude.

But also for leadership. I believe leading with gratitude is one of the most powerful levers we can pull to invest in, in the people we serve and the organizations we serve and support.

Lainie Rowell: That's lovely. I really appreciate how it's an anchor point for you and I would love it if you could kind of taking us into the second question.

I can only manage three questions as a podcast host. So the second question would be, what does this look like?

Bradley James Davies: Yeah. Well, I'll start professionally, you know, in working with leaders and I believe that, the biggest bang for our organizational improvement buck is via appreciation, and that's the giving of gratitude to those we serve and support. So fundamentally, as a, as a core leadership practice, I invite and encourage leaders to embrace appreciation and for appreciation or leadership via gratitude to be effective and truly helpful it has to be specific and it has to be personal.

I site often this wonderful book called Leading With Magic. It's written by a former vice president of Disney, and he was famous for writing something like over a thousand handwritten, personalized notes of appreciation to his employees every single year. And it comes down to something like 20 or 25 notes a day.

So I encourage leaders and embrace myself to try to write one personalized note of appreciation each day to your team members. The great thing about this is one, of course, it's a feel good element, Lainie, but also leaders have in their minds their own idea, best practice, their own vision for the direction the organization should go.

And so if you walk the hallways and around your campus, whatever the case may be, looking for the good stuff and then choosing via gratitude to water the good stuff, well, good stuff, watered becomes great and it becomes just a powerful driver of progress . Via gratitude, via the feel good feelings that come along with being appreciated for hard work and a job well done.

Lainie Rowell: I have heard through multiple leaders that one of the things that sustains them that helps them thrive is to do that. Looking for the good. And I love how you said when you water the good stuff, it becomes great. And I'm paraphrasing there, but that was really lovely.

Really beautifully said. And 25 notes a day might seem like a lot. So I love how you've said, okay, you can do one a day. That's definitely more doable. And really, making that specific and personal makes a huge difference. And I heard you say that too. And I always encourage people that I think the handwritten notes are amazing.

If that's just really not your jam, would you agree, even just an email or a text message or something would would suffice.

Bradley James Davies: Oh my gosh. Lainie, my handwriting. Like my mother, like all mothers, right? She thinks I am perfect. However, there is one glaring shortcoming I bring to this world, and that is my handwriting.

It's as though, I'm a fourth grader trying to write hieroglyphics, so I chose a long time ago actually not to do handwritten notes because I looked like a fool. So I think via email is absolutely okay. Via text is absolutely acceptable. What's absolutely crucial about appreciation, Is it has to be specific and it has to be personal.

The mass email, "Hey team, you guys are awesome", while well intended can actually have a reverse impact. Mm-hmm. It can come across as disingenuous. So you've got to have a vision of what you think is great. What is your vision of best practice, and when you see that... we used to with children talk about catch them doing good. Thank you Lainie for helping push in the chairs, like those simple kind of experiences across all disciplines, across all industries. Catch your team doing good, doing well, and then praise them specifically for, but gosh, if your handwriting's like mine, a quick email is absolutely powerful.

But focusing our effort. The thing about leading with gratitude, not only does it feel good, not only does it help promote best practice, but it also helps us as leaders to see the good stuff. Too many leaders will walk their hallways looking for weeds to pull rather than plants to water.

And my fundamental leadership belief is that one of the best ways to eradicate the bad is to emphasize the good. And Gratitude is the most powerful driver of that approach to leadership.

Lainie Rowell: A hundred percent. That was really well said, and I have to just have a moment of like, Yes, I get the handwriting thing 'cause I have the worst handwriting and

Bradley James Davies: Oh my gosh.

We'll have to have a competition someday.

Lainie Rowell: I know, right? I think what we wanna do is remove the barriers, right? Yeah. And so if your hesitation is because you don't like your handwriting, then a handwritten note is actually not the way to go because it will limit the amount that you do.

And so you would rather just find the way that you could do it. And I will say, Whatever way you do it, whether you choose to do handwriting or email, and like you said, you don't want it to come across disingenuous and so even the handwritten can come across disingenuous. If, for example, this lovely principal came up and she's like, I love my teachers so much.

I wrote them all handwritten notes and they were all specific to the each person. And then I went and I put them in everyone's box and I said, did you happen to put them in everyone's box at the same time? Mm-hmm. And she said, yes. And I said, well, they're not reading the other ones so they probably assume you wrote the same thing in everyone, just because they can't imagine that you would spend that amount of time personalizing, but you did.

So, next time spread them out. Don't put them all in at once and be strategic about that because you don't ever wanna people to not feel special when you're trying to show them gratitude.

Bradley James Davies: Lainie, I think that's a real savvy and and wise observation. One of the practices that I use is I actually keep a spreadsheet and will put the little date next to my team members' names.

And it's a way to ensure, have I named something grateful to each one of my team members and how often have I done it. And so it's just, what's the wonderful quote from Atomic Habits? That we don't rise to the level of our aspirations, but we fall to the level of our systems. I've found that just utilizing a simple Google sheet with all of my team member names along one column, and then put in the date the, the day I wrote them a personalized note of appreciation or expressed gratitude to them was a good way to say, gosh. I haven't written Lainie a note in three months. It's her day. And if we can commit to just one a day, just one a day, I'm such a big believer in in micro goals. Just one a day. Sometimes that becomes two or three. But gosh, over an entire year, over an entire fiscal year, you're looking at well over 200, 250 notes.

If you're a human, and maybe you're not successful every day, but gosh, think about the impact that could have celebrating 250 times what you believe best practice to be for your organization. It is a beautiful, joyful way to move the needle forward, and frankly, I think the most effective.

Lainie Rowell: I really appreciate that very thoughtful and strategic approach, because one of the things I think about in all aspects of our lives, whether it's in the classroom being a teacher, a leader, even in our homes, is that sometimes the people who fly under the radar get the least amount of acknowledgement, whether it's positive or negative. And so when you're strategic about that, because just like you could have a student that is actually really amazing, but kind of quiet doesn't really draw your attention much. They just kind of do what is needed to do. That can happen with teachers too.

I'm a mom. That can happen with my own kids sometimes the one who's doing what's actually most helpful doesn't always go noticed. And so being super intentional in that is really important to nurture all of those relationships.

Bradley James Davies: I love that you mentioned kids in this context, Lainie.

I'll just share this simple example of just something magical that happened in my professional career a handful of years ago. I invited my leadership team to join me in this effort to lavish our team with gratitude to catch them doing good. And so , we had a shared spreadsheet and it was five or six of us on the leadership team, and we all committed to trying to write one email, text, letter of gratitude to our team members. Well, they caught on and then one of our teachers said, Hey, what if we have a shared spreadsheet for all of our students? And what if we send an email home to families saying, Hey, just a quick email to let you know that Lainie did x, y, and z today, and we were so proud of her.

Wanted to let you know and invite you to give her a high five at home. So all of a sudden, what started with creating magic, this book and then me trying to do one a day and then inviting my leadership team to join us became an entire team of teachers, lavishing the children, the students with gratitude, and then sharing that with families.

So we sent over 1000 emails of gratitude in a year to students' families, catching them doing good and celebrating the joy and the privilege of working with their children. It was magical and it was one of those things that I could not have anticipated, but was beyond grateful that that ended up taking place.

Lainie Rowell: Ooh, I got the goosebumps. I got the goosies.

Bradley James Davies: It was beautiful.

Lainie Rowell: Wow to have something that organic happen. And this episode is gonna come out towards the beginning of a school year, and I've said this a few times recently, but I just truly believe that we want to start off a school year paying into that relationship bank account as much as we can.

I know we're all really busy all times of the year, and beginning of the year is no less, but really get started on that as soon as possible. I think that really helps with those family relationships.

Bradley James Davies: It it was, it was something beautiful to see, so I couldn't agree more Lainie.

Lainie Rowell: Well, let's talk a little bit more about what gratitude looks like in your life.

I know that in your consulting, you are helping with leadership, but also life. And I wondered if you wanted to maybe even go beyond leadership, and it doesn't even have to be specific to education, but what does this look like in your life?

Bradley James Davies: I really appreciate the question. And I do share this with clients in a coaching context as they seek to add systems to add discipline to their life so that the outputs they desire come to pass and a few things I share with clients is one that I have a daily mantra?

And it can be anything for me it's a peace acronym. For me everything's about peace. Peace is the prize. And I'll tell this quick story because I love to tell it. I was probably in fourth grade, Lainie. And at school that day, kids must have introduced to me this concept of three wishes. You know, if you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

And so I brought that home to my mom and she was making dinner. I remember I was on like the bright yellow linoleum kitchen floor hanging out, you know, early eighties. And I offered to my mom as she was making dinner, and mom, if you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

And she kind of brushed me off lovingly. Said, oh, son, I don't really wanna play that game. I said, come on mom. If you had three wishes, what would you wish for? And finally she said to me, Lainie son, I would wish for peace. And someday you'll understand. That just stuck with me.

And ever since then, peace has been my guiding North star of my life and, and what I seek. And, and so I have this peace acronym that I recite every day and I don't need to go through all of it. P is embrace the precious present, the miracle of the moment. Well, e is expect and embrace adversity and that is really anchored in, in a life committed to gratitude because I've learned through the good times and the bad that we can both be sad that something happened and also eventually glad for some of the things that emerged from those difficult moments. And so I really try to anchor my own personal practice in expecting and embracing adversity, expecting and embracing difficult things to come.

And then the a of my Peace acronym is to have an attitude of gratitude. And what I do is I challenge myself to offer, you know, to myself, and I'd also journal so oftentimes I'll, I'll do it in my journal to give thanks for 10 small things. Those daily mini miracles, how light hits a plant in a living room, the beauty of a wildflower, things like that. I really try to anchor myself in the small things to offer gratitude for, and I then compliment that where I have a life log and I've listed 10 categories and each day I reflect into my life log.

It's a spreadsheet of did I accomplish certain things? And one of those is, did I pause to give gratitude? And it's, created in the spirit of we live our lives as we live our days. So in my coaching practice and working with my clients, I invite them to create their own life log. What are the variables that when you look back on your life, you will have peace knowing that, wow, day in and day out, I delivered on X, Y, Z, A, B, and C via this lifelong.

So from really this belief that gratitude is not just a feeling, it's more so a discipline, a commitment I think this daily mantra and also creating a life log or are two tools that I would invite your listeners to consider embracing that have really enriched my life. And I'm really gra grateful. I, I stumbled upon it because the, the value add to my life via these practices has been, has been immense.

Lainie Rowell: I love so much. And are you gonna leave us hanging on the rest of the acronym?

Bradley James Davies: Oh gosh. Okay. Here we go. Ready? Peace. So the precious present, you know, embracing the miracle of the moment. E expect and embrace adversity. A is an attitude of gratitude. C is choose. I think attitude is choice. Choose to be positive, choose to be patient, choose to be peaceful.

And then E is expectations. And the thing around expectations actually is tied to gratitude. There's a fantastic book called Solve for Happy by Mo Gawdat and he's got this equation. He's a former Google exec who endured the tragedy of losing a child.

And through that pain really started studying the science of happiness. And part of his book's deliverables, this definition of enjoyment equals experience minus expectation. And it's this real invitation to think about what are we attached to and what are our expectations.

So the last E in the Peace acronym is I try to explore in a real healthy way of, okay, what am I attached to? What expectations do I have? And while we've been taught to have high expectations of ourselves and others in truth a life journey of peace and real joy actually is associated with lowering our expectations, still honoring the inputs, still honoring a full enthusiasm, a full commitment to inputs, to love and care, and commit to excellence yet, just loosening our grip a little bit on what our expectations are.

So that last E has really informed a lot of, a lot of my personal growth as well. And it came to it the hard way by holding on way too tightly to too many things. So that's the full piece acronym.

Lainie Rowell: Okay. I needed to hear them all and I knew our listeners would wanna hear them all too.

So I love how you have a way of creating systems and these practices, these processes that you've come up with, that are really so thoughtful, so intentional, and I think that is a great way to live. I can tell we're kindred spirits when you're referencing James Clear. I'm a kind of an efficiency nerd and anyone that can help me with habits and efficiency, I'm all in.

I just wanted to say a few things about your Peace acronym. I feel like that's a great recipe for really finding the peace and also the awe in the day-to-day life. And so that's something that I think is really beautiful. And when you're talking about listing these 10 tiny things, I think that's where the joy is found.

A lot of times we think, when I get to this big thing, that's when I'll be happy. But it's actually really much more about the awe and the wonder and the small, simple things in our lives.

Bradley James Davies: I appreciate it. You saying that Lainie a number of years ago, gosh, going way back where I just embraced this quote that a drop of intentionality gets you a gallon back.

That works in relationships, it works in institutional leadership. It works in our own personal growth, our own commitment to our own wellbeing. And so the life log and this peace mantra for me have just been really game changer. So I invite folks to embrace it, make it their own.

I will name that the life log is not a scoreboard. It's just a log. I'm not successful or unsuccessful, but it's just a good way to check in with myself. Like, okay, here are the variables that I believe will inform a life well lived and how am I doing? And not to beat myself up or anything like that, but just to check in and say, Hey, did I journal today?

Was I proactive about being grateful today? And, you know, down the list it goes. But yeah, this, this drop of intentionality, no matter how small can just get us so much back. So little practices like this as I work with my clients really do prove helpful.

Lainie Rowell: This is gonna kind of just come outta nowhere, but it was another thought that I had as you were sharing your PEACE acronym and that last e being Expectations.

There's various quotes about expectations. I think Brene Brown says expectations are resentments waiting to happen. There's, there's all sorts of them. I do think a lot about expectations because I think they can really be, In some cases harmful to relationships, but also harmful to ourselves.

You just said, the life log is not a scoreboard, right? It's being aware, being intentional, and then also not holding ourselves to ridiculous expectations that are just gonna lead to us feeling bad about ourselves.

Bradley James Davies: True. my quote is, expectation is the enemy of enjoyment.

Lainie Rowell: That's a good one. Oh, I like that one too. I like that one too. There's one that's even more harsh. If I can find, I'll bring it, bring it just for giggles. I'll put it in the show notes. But I do think expectations is one we have to be kind of careful about.

So I appreciate that's part of your daily mantra, your peace acronym. I do wanna ask you to share a little bit about your book. Tell us more about it.

Bradley James Davies: The book is my reflection really on 20 years seeking to lead others well without losing your way. And you know, I do believe that leadership is hard and it's hard on leaders.

And so the book's approach is part how to and part how not to. So truly it's anchored. In my experience as a school leader, I do believe that many of the, the lessons I, I seek to offer apply across all sectors, and it's chunked up in an alphabetical approach. You know, if you walk into a kindergarten classroom and you look along the top of the wall, you likely will see some kind of visual that's, you know, lighthearted and loving that says, A is for apple, B is for ball. C is for cat. And so I've just collected a handful of, of essays that correlate with the alphabet. So A is for appreciation, I lead with that. B is for B, C, C, I think one of the most evil things on the planet C is for culture, D for dancing guy, things like that.

So there's a lot of leadership lessons that apply across all sectors, and also there's a real strong wellness component to it. There's a lot in there for leaders and best practices to ensure that while they're giving, while they're filling the cup of those they serve, they're also being mindful of their own wellness.

Because I wasn't great at that and I got low and I got to a burned out place, and that was part of the catalyst for me transitioning to consulting and speaking and coaching. So there's, there's a lot of good wellness practices in there for, for folks to be mindful of, to ensure that they don't get to that low place and that their batteries are charged and they're able not only to serve their teams well, but just as importantly that they're bringing their best selves home as well. And they have energy and light and love left over at the end of the day to give to the most important relationships in their life, their friends and family.

Lainie Rowell: I'm very excited to read it. Now I'd like you to give a shout out to someone if you are open to that.

Bradley James Davies: You know, it's, it's funny, you, you invited me to reflect on this a few days ago, and so I have to start with one, but then I'm gonna go with a collective group.

So I'm gonna go a little bit off script and I think you'll, you'll be okay with it. One, I have to start with my mom, and that's no disparagement of my dad. I just, I have a wonderful mom and she has loved me unconditionally. And even as youll read in the book that I got to a low place about two years ago, and COVID, was a contributor, et cetera.

But here I am, you know, at that time, a 46 year old man. And I got to a low place. I needed my mama, and my mom stepped up with just, just loving grace to help me get back on my feet and, and grow strong again. So I gotta start with my mom, you know, just now going on 48 years of immense unconditional love.

But here's who I wanna focus on. I have gratitude for those who have done me wrong and Lainie, there aren't many, very few. I've been so fortunate. People have just been exceedingly kind and generous to me in my life, but there are a few who, who did me wrong and I would love if they were ever to possibly listen to this podcast that they would hear from me.

Hey, no hard feelings. And super important. I take at least 51% of the responsibility for our relationships being strained, at least. And when I look back on that version of me, yeah, I'm kind of disappointed in him too. So, hey, those few folks out there who feel maybe I didn't treat you well and who I feel like maybe you didn't treat me well.

I hope you know that. I'm a different person now, and I forgive you. I hope you forgive me. I'm grateful for you helping me become a better person. And really in the spirit of one of my favorite quotes ever, it's a quote by Rumi, oh, it's so powerful. And he says, beyond all ideas of right doing and wrongdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there.

So my, my gratitude is to some folks who, you know, maybe we didn't get along so well. Just to thank them and invite them to say, Hey, I think things can be good between us someday. And to be honest, I've reached out to all these people and some have, have reciprocated and we've had wonderful reconciliation and others have chosen not to.

And I'm okay with that. I'm making it sound like there are like thousands of people out there. But there are just a few that are in my head and heart like, oh, I don't think I was my best self with you and you probably weren't your best self back to me. And gosh, Maybe now in our more evolved states, we, we could pause in that, that field that Rumi mentions and, and shake hands and maybe even hug and, and know that all is well.

And so I'm grateful for it because I've become a better person because of that adversity. But I'd love for them to know that I've no hard feelings and I would be future oriented, grateful for any reconciliation we might be able to accomplish together.

Lainie Rowell: Both of those were very, very generous shout outs and regarding the latter, the grateful to those who have done you wrong.

I would say that is a truly peaceful way to live and I know that you are seeking peace that is a priority for you, and I think that that is a great way to be there. Now I know that people are going to want to grab your book and they're gonna wanna know how they can connect with you more.

So I will put in the show notes a link to your book, but would you also just out loud share with us how do people connect with you best?

Bradley James Davies: Yeah, so I'm on all socials on Instagram, @bradley.james.davies. I think I'm bradley.james.davies on Instagram and Facebook.

Bradley James Davies, of course, on LinkedIn. And then my website is bradley.james.Davies.com. So yeah, would love to hear from folks.

Lainie Rowell: I will link all of those in the show notes so people can just touch or tap or whatever they need to and go straight there. I do encourage people to check out your book like I will be doing.

I can't wait to read it, and I have truly enjoyed this conversation. Bradley, this has been very enlightening and enjoyable and you gave me the goosies on multiple occasions, so kudos to you and I just really thank you for your time.

Bradley James Davies: Well, thank you, Lainie. I'm so impressed with the work you do, and I'm grateful that you're investing your gifts into this planet and, and its people.

And raising awareness to the power of gratitude and how it can really change the world. So thank you.

Lainie Rowell: Thank you my friend, and thank you all for listening.